Stories tagged money

We Put a Smile Back on Your Face

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Her voice mail announced: “I’m coming for three days...Make sure the dog hair’s cleaned up, I have allergies.”

Under the Buttonwood Tree (Excerpt)

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Bobby Putnam was an idiot. He was a successful idiot, a wealthy idiot, an idiot born of Connecticut royalty into an ancient and venerable name, but a raving and mindless idiot.

Birthday Money.

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4 sentences

cuneus + forma

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the warnings we fear are the selfsame ones of ourselves of our vertical need to be first to the heights redoubling its intractable charm of production— our inheritance.

How to Have a Dinner Party

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sherbet is hard cash.

We’ll Contain It

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I was pressing the chicken down with the spatula when my neighbour Thom Golodner yelled my name. I untied my David apron and threw it on the smoker. I slowly climbed the porch steps and saw Thom across our adjoining fence, leaning on his porch handrail. He wore a Texas…

Self Help For Daydreamers

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I think I’ll get a tattoo. Not just any tattoo, one I’ll regret. I’ll catch people peering at it, trying to interpret the twists and swirls of the black ink on my fair skin.

Cherry Picking

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he really had earned it

Chicken on a Wire

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Brady's mouth is dry, his heart's in his throat and he's jumping out of his skin. The fear is a living thing unwinding like a serpent from the base of his spine. Then he remembers to breathe. Breathing is the only way he's found to handle fear before it becomes…

HOW THE COPS FIXED MY ASS

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HOW THE COPS FIXED MY ASS I was bung outta dung. I was bunged in. I didn't know where to crap I was gonna get any more dung. I checked inside my wallet and nope, not a turd, not so much as a drop of piss. I was bung outta dung, I was bunged in. …

He Was the Worst Man of His Name

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Broken nose, split eyebrow, cracked jaw, a wheezing that pointed to his lungs and probably a few green stick ribs.

Game Night

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Randy stood in the alley behind Krasnowski Construction with a loaded gun shoved down the front of his pants. His friend Todd was inside, unloading the safe. And when Todd walked out the door, Randy was going to shoot him in the face.

We Collect Skulls

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all about the American dream

Antonin Scalia & Newt Gingrich: Tonight's 'NUDE MUD-WRESTLING' Event!

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["Hi, I'm Don Pardo. Welcome to tonight's event. Children may want to cover their eyes ... but adults will have THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES!"]

Anything That Moves

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Joshua Sylvia Bishop sat down with the innocent dignity of a boxer, at his first job, assistant director of independent programming for the Chinaplaz Company, reporting weekly to Madison Henley, the chief exec, at pre-boardroom briefings in Denver. Henley had been a…