by Peter Erich
One -
Invite those surviving in your memory.
Two -
Too often cubed, serve cheese in large portions as it puts guests into a coma. Oh, and no wine. It is a fat tradition and will give one opinions.
Three -
Disagreeable, but we need them - toothpicks are thee acoustic guitars of pre dinner conversation. Accompany a scotch list for the men with ascots.
Four -
Sherbet is hard cash.
Five -
Leave early. Have someone likable tell a grand lie: The event was too simple. You are sorry for leading them on and must insist they fuck themselves.
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in five easy steps you will learn how to have an effective dinner party.
The whole thing made me giggle. I love the incredibly burned out vibe one gets from the text, it's hilariously bitter.