Stories tagged human-comedy

Merry-Go-Round

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I thought the Ferris wheel was dumb. All it did was give you a high altitude view of the little Minnesota town where I had grown up.

The Race

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All the dog owners stood with their dogs at the starting line.

Nine Lives

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When he crawled into bed, his wife woke up and asked him where he had been. He said he didn't want to talk about it.

Three Micros

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The earth moves.

Art Class

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The model takes off her clothes and poses nude for our class. We draw her likeness on paper.

The Parade

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I see them walking. They pass right by my house. If I’m outside, I sit down on our porch and watch the parade. Sometimes I watch them out of a front window.

Out of the Loop

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Ed wants to watch the last half of the football game. His wife wants him to mow the lawn.

Wedding

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It was cold in the church. The Lutherans were freezing to death. The Catholics brought their winter coats.

Conversations

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That won’t kill me, will it? I asked. Maybe, the doctor said.

My Wife

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My wife thinks I should be committed.

Sorrows Know How to Swim

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That night he dreamed about a duel with toothbrushes....

Bad Boys

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I don’t remember much about kindergarten.... The teacher’s name was Mrs. Halverson. She was nice.

Forbidden Fruit

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After my vasectomy, I got a T-shirt with a picture of an orange on it. It said "All Juice, No Seeds."

Omen

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The bird sat there some time. Several minutes. My wife and I grabbed out i-Pads and took pictures.

Carnal Knowledge

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He says he’ll have a Bud, too. The woman taps her pencil on her pad, looks at the kid and says, “When?”