Out of the Loop
by Jake Barnes
Ed wants to watch the last half of the football game. His wife wants him to mow the lawn. He mows the lawn. He is not happy about it, and he grumbles. Back and forth, back and forth. He cusses under his breath. Pauline keeps an eye on him. She stands outside by their mailbox talking with a neighbor. They chit-chat about this and that. What's new with you? How is the job going? How are the kids?
Pauline watches her husband. Kate notices the look on her face and asks her what's wrong. Pauline is puzzled. "What?" she asks. Kate nods at Ed's broad back. "You two having trouble?" she whispers.
Pauline laughs. "No more than usual," she says. "He's crabby, he's cheap, he smells bad, and I hate it when he breathes. Other than that, we're fine." The girls chuckle. They agree that married life is no bowl of cherries.
When Kate goes home, her husband asks her where's she been. Outside, she says.
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Author's Note
She said that. She did.
So that's why married people are so happy all the time...
Thank you for the laugh, Jake! I have huge respect for people who make marriage work for them and that is no lie.
* Good stuff.
Sounds like Florida where all the women are old or plastic and the men "... crabby, he's cheap, he smells bad, and I hate it when he breathes. Other than that, we're fine." :-)) Fave!
*
On great moment cascades into the next.*
Let the truth be told. What? :)
From the newly single: yeah! *
it's a wonder human kind survived.
Great lines: "He's crabby, he's cheap, he smells bad, and I hate it when he breathes. Other than that, we're fine."
*
*.
yep!
"He's crabby, he's cheap, he smells bad, and I hate it when he breathes." So that's what's wrong with me.
reminds me of this:
http://youtu.be/F5axlwCBXC8
*
"I hate it when he breathes. Other than that, we're fine." Married life can be tough. *
I am none of these people. ***
At least the lawn got finished. Nice last line, too.