Most read stories

Borderline

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You slipped me the key

Men Free

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And now that they are gone she channels the scriptures of love between a father and a mother And the men are free to wander wherever a spirit will wander bound now by nothing at all bound only by their former loves in life, as if they s

.38 In the Glove Compartment

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I accidentally opened the glove compartment and stumbled upon his snub-nose .38 caliber. He saw me looking at it and smirked. “Protection,” he said, picking his teeth with a wooden toothpick after lunch. “In my line of business, you hafta have it.” “Wh

It's Not Too Soon to Feel Crabby 'bout Christmas

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Call it Chanukkah, call it Kwanzaa Whatever the name, I just don’t wanzaa!

Photosynthesis

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While searching for wildflowers along an old logging path bordering a ravine, I heard voices. “Damn, Clete. Where are we?” “I think you didn't make the goddamn turn, Mert, you idiot.” I looked over the edge of the ravine beside my path.…

A Stolen Pipe Goes a Long Way Towards An Empty Pouch of Nothing

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We were always blowing stale enough air into each other's faces from the smallest roundest tables available looking at each other sideways at the same sad time as the puppet show…

More New Bands I Have Known and/or Been In

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Uber Rich Spongecake Caca Mimi and the Autre Merdes

Swarm

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I send pronouns on walkabouts to where there are only planes and light

The Sporting Club

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There had been a whore house at the spot for a century, since the cowboys drove cattle up the Chisolm Trail to town, to be loaded onto boxcars bound for the Chicago stockyards.

The Virtues of Nerdy Women

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Back in college I had carnal knowledge of a woman who danced bare-breasted and frenzied as a Bacchante.

The Theory Behind the Statue of the Unclothed Horseman

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With his toga thrown over one shoulder because it was so hot out which has led to various and sundry theories of the naked centurions riding on horses in this manner through some unimaginable desert on a long march or even along the banks…

Dead Kennedys

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Death is both alien and intimate to us; neither wholly strange nor purely one's own.

The Pope of Rock and Roll

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Pope Leo XIII endorsed a cocaine-based drink and at the age of 90 sat in on a session with a castrato that is still available on CD.

Let's Be Frank

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Guilt is a full-time job Without benefits No vacations No coffee breaks No free lunch No maternity leave No paternity leave All you get is the ability to be Paralyzed with guilt You will freeze in the night Without a blanket Becaus

Interview with a Jesus Lizard

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Interviewer: So, you walk on water, right? How is that possible? Jesus Lizard: Well, I only run on water, and upright on my hind legs. Haha, if I tried just walking on water I’d sink quicker than St. Peter!

Upon A Time

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What we did was walk in on an amazing starfish convention, everyone lazing about, softly frozen against the timeless drooling currents like strange looking wind socks washing up and down with the sun. I am empty, hear me roar in blubbery bluster and…

Interview with a Jesus Lizard

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Interviewer: So, you walk on water, right? How is that possible? Jesus Lizard: Well, I only run on water, and upright on my hind legs. Haha, if I tried just walking on water I’d sink quicker than St. Peter!

This Man Waited on Me at Peet's Coffee

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Way stronger than Starbucks turned out to be.

The Telephone

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Stop talking the phone is asleep. / It is a resting wounded animal. / It is old and made of machines.

Proper

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I saw two men trying to help a pigeon with a run-over wing in London,

Angel 1508

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When bees die they die with their wings straight out They die of natural causes and their tiny bodies are bent as though landing on a flower Their wings seem too big for them and they lie scattered about the floor, tilted in dead p

President Bites Dog

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Newton Foster was charged with disorderly conduct for biting a dog known as Shoo Shoo Baby owned by Lula Scroggins.

Seamus ne Kevin

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Seamus has the palsy now who once was called another name.

Suspenders

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As soon as I got the suspenders adjusted I felt different. I felt like Wilfred Brimley.

In the Midst of Tropical Depression Agaton

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I have come to refuse setting sail / to islands whose inhabitants are / sweet-talking cannibals...

Wind Enough in your Sail?

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Don’t think you can play God with me There are enough songs To fill the heavens already I don’t need you Whispering in my ear Gone virile, are you? That’s what they used to say About me too

Him

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Ever since he left, I have been alone with the tree. We had planted it together. A green twig in the middle of the garden and a knotty stick, running around. Fingers and branches have grown. Very fast. Too fast. When he left, I sat in the shade. There I started writing, and…

I Wish

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I wish I had money I would give it all to you I would give you more than I could imagine I would pull the fetus out of your heart Between my two fingers And glue us together I would glue our faces together too After putting in all my

two love tankas

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December scent rains coming down sodden leaves underfoot

Tonight's Special

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I didn't arrive at the Wicked Spoon every night in the same mood. Some nights I would arrive under the spell of a generous emptiness, what I like to call the euphoria of futility. Not exactly a state of bliss, but a dazed detachment in which everything is so pointlessly…