Most read stories

.38 In the Glove Compartment

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I accidentally opened the glove compartment and stumbled upon his snub-nose .38 caliber. He saw me looking at it and smirked. “Protection,” he said, picking his teeth with a wooden toothpick after lunch. “In my line of business, you hafta have it.” “Wh

Heirloom

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“Have the tomatoes come in yet?”“Dottie…”Mrs. Dorothea Tilden pointed a trembling finger at Harriet.“You promised me tomatoes, Harry.”Harriet put her hands on her hips, a stance Dorothea knew well. One more sharp word meant fight; two…

At the Cafe

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The light on his face from a lamp Felt hat with a black band Scrunched down The nose creating a strong shadow With dark, straight eyebrows under the hat Red and orange beard Leaning forward at the café table, watching A damp curl of ha

A Stolen Pipe Goes a Long Way Towards An Empty Pouch of Nothing

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We were always blowing stale enough air into each other's faces from the smallest roundest tables available looking at each other sideways at the same sad time as the puppet show…

The Virtues of Nerdy Women

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Back in college I had carnal knowledge of a woman who danced bare-breasted and frenzied as a Bacchante.

The Theory Behind the Statue of the Unclothed Horseman

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With his toga thrown over one shoulder because it was so hot out which has led to various and sundry theories of the naked centurions riding on horses in this manner through some unimaginable desert on a long march or even along the banks…

What Do You Do For Men

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We were in the car and I just learned to drive and we were in the freeway running at a hundred miles per hour, and after a while we found ourselves in the center lane behind a slow-moving truck filled with small pumpkins...

More New Bands I Have Known and/or Been In

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Uber Rich Spongecake Caca Mimi and the Autre Merdes

Photosynthesis

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While searching for wildflowers along an old logging path bordering a ravine, I heard voices. “Damn, Clete. Where are we?” “I think you didn't make the goddamn turn, Mert, you idiot.” I looked over the edge of the ravine beside my path.…

Men Free

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And now that they are gone she channels the scriptures of love between a father and a mother And the men are free to wander wherever a spirit will wander bound now by nothing at all bound only by their former loves in life, as if they s

The Telephone

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Stop talking the phone is asleep. / It is a resting wounded animal. / It is old and made of machines.

Borderline

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You slipped me the key

Let's Be Frank

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Guilt is a full-time job Without benefits No vacations No coffee breaks No free lunch No maternity leave No paternity leave All you get is the ability to be Paralyzed with guilt You will freeze in the night Without a blanket Becaus

Swarm

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I send pronouns on walkabouts to where there are only planes and light

Angel 1508

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When bees die they die with their wings straight out They die of natural causes and their tiny bodies are bent as though landing on a flower Their wings seem too big for them and they lie scattered about the floor, tilted in dead p

In the Midst of Tropical Depression Agaton

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I have come to refuse setting sail / to islands whose inhabitants are / sweet-talking cannibals...

The Pope of Rock and Roll

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Pope Leo XIII endorsed a cocaine-based drink and at the age of 90 sat in on a session with a castrato that is still available on CD.

President Bites Dog

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Newton Foster was charged with disorderly conduct for biting a dog known as Shoo Shoo Baby owned by Lula Scroggins.

The Sporting Club

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There had been a whore house at the spot for a century, since the cowboys drove cattle up the Chisolm Trail to town, to be loaded onto boxcars bound for the Chicago stockyards.

Dead Kennedys

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Death is both alien and intimate to us; neither wholly strange nor purely one's own.

Proper

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I saw two men trying to help a pigeon with a run-over wing in London,

Upon A Time

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What we did was walk in on an amazing starfish convention, everyone lazing about, softly frozen against the timeless drooling currents like strange looking wind socks washing up and down with the sun. I am empty, hear me roar in blubbery bluster and…

Inexperienced MIKE!

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#bitch -- #bitchedybitchedyBITCHBITCHBITCH ;)

This Man Waited on Me at Peet's Coffee

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Way stronger than Starbucks turned out to be.

Interview with a Jesus Lizard

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Interviewer: So, you walk on water, right? How is that possible? Jesus Lizard: Well, I only run on water, and upright on my hind legs. Haha, if I tried just walking on water I’d sink quicker than St. Peter!

Wind Enough in your Sail?

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Don’t think you can play God with me There are enough songs To fill the heavens already I don’t need you Whispering in my ear Gone virile, are you? That’s what they used to say About me too

Reel

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They left their great need behind When they were taken out of the country. They seem to live without thought of that blood. They do not respond to anything that calls to it. They seem shallow. They feed on image alone. Blood does not shake the

Short Blonde, Long Red

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Natalie blushed the vodka with an almost pointless twist of the fruit juice as I fought in my inside jacket pocket for my wallet...

Suspenders

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As soon as I got the suspenders adjusted I felt different. I felt like Wilfred Brimley.

I Wish

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I wish I had money I would give it all to you I would give you more than I could imagine I would pull the fetus out of your heart Between my two fingers And glue us together I would glue our faces together too After putting in all my