Most read stories

Introspection

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The piss monster looks for clues of its childhood in the stains it leaves behind on the furniture.

Admission

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I can’t hold a job I can’t hold a hammer

(melody) floating inside an f

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Like the miserable sledgehammer am I, with no adjective in place to praise your moon, you are a hole well-worn into my favorite hanging rock. I've only been able to reinvent this wronged language, in which being moved…

Order

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Still worried. I could use some more hope in my oatmeal.

The Human Bible

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Fat, religious, full of himself,

Chinese farmer gets life in prison for evading highway tolls

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Bring me your poor, your tired, your hungry anyone skilled at evading highway tolls Bring me your escape artists dangling upside down in a straight-jacket from the sides of tall buildings Don’t let them starve in the prisons of the world Bri

Bundle of Nerves

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Testing how well he navigates She didn't think he would find it

Four Haikus

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The crow in darkness;visual palpitationsunder the street lamp. In the dark morningmy car disrupts the still cold;a blister on earth.Never mind the cat.The Japanese Peace Lillywill steal your last breath.The blacktop highway;a rough scab to cover thedeep man-cut…

Walking My Lobster Back Home

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Gee but it’s great after being out late, Walking my lobster back home. There’s little risk that she’ll turn into bisque, Walking my lobster back home.

lunch

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strange daysi'm having lunch with the babyand we're talking about people-watchingand old souls and coffee and twizzlersit's a weird conversation but she's my babyso something about some apple not falling far from the treewould best fit in herebut anywayi feel like i'm…

Family Leave

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I look at her really look we both know her time is fading "I'm just sad that you won't be there."

Liberation, 2

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It was Phil Collins on MTV, “In the Air Tonight,” that helped cement it for me. It was the beginning of the end of my marriage. Well, not exactly the true beginning of the end. You would have to go pretty far back, honestly, to find the true root of it

The Sham Wedding

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Mary Jo told me to hire somebody to marry us in a ceremony in the living room up at the house on Fairlawn. This was to take place in two days. Her divorce was final, and she had to get married or else it was all over for her child custody. I guess I was

The Band That Didn't Memorize Christmas Songs

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A man stared out a window, only to see a passing train.

Where Does the Foam From the Lattes Go?

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Where does the foam from the lattes go? I'm not being flip--I want to know.

Tell Me What Happened

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The empty faces in the crowd all mumbled...

Joey's War

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Joey tried to shoot the cop with his air gun but the cop sprayed Joey with pepper spray.

The First Man

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For it is yours to tame

It Can Hold Us All

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Look out for rotten ice. If you fall in, pull yourself out like a seal. Take off all your clothes and get to shelter.

Kegel Exercise

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1.It was unfair to my time and my small kitchen rug that it took me two days to finish reading Meg Pokrass' “The Big Dipper,” pp. 10-12

Heroes

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no one told him there was a place where heroes died, but he should have known it was in love

narcissus, remember me

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You were never at all like Narcissus, trying to remember girls’ names with marble in their eyes. You never adored your own image, looking at yourself in the river, not like I did (looking in the mirror that brings sleep.) I remember you admiring the dre

Transmitter/Receiver

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Valerie had purchased a new cell phone in late 2007, and, say a few months afterwards, in the beginning of 2008 a demon briefly took up residence in it. She had just returned home from running a few errands, and set her phone down on her desk. She had been focusing on…

Sand Atop A Trickling Potentially

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Sand atop a trickling potentially,where roundabout rides hideunbegun business, the trickling of sand at any moment.

Killing Dennis Gauda II: Dennis Gauda Strikes Back

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“That's Governor Gauda to you, punk!” This is the line from my speech “Killing Dennis Gauda.” The speech lost the Tall Tales competition at the division level, but I was unfortunate to have a chance to do this speech for Dennis Gauda …

Pink Slip For Mitt's Mutt

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(Recently unearthed from a “Lost Luggage” travel trunk abandoned in a train station in Salt Lake City, Utah) Dear Seamus: Boy, we sure did enjoy having you as a member of our family all those years. I would have to say you…

You Would Not Find Me

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and I saw this man mopping a floor. He did not look like a monk, and he was smiling at something I could not see. You would not find me and I was beautiful. You would not find me and you closed that memory. I thought that was unfair and maybe it…

Night Raid

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The president snapped awake at three AM. He realized he was a serial killer. Highly trained and equipped killers on his orders were summarily murdering thousands of raggedly dressed people in the name of Democracy.

My Darling Dead Ones

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Do you remember?

BOLT-TOGETHER

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I will watch your teeth measure the highway all the way home.