1604 10 7
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We keep a ruin of a house, but I suppose it's all right.
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1604 1 0
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A San Francisco cab driver named Jake, a friend of a friend, was my date for the party. I didn't really like him, but I needed someone to bring. In the 70s free love was the norm, but it was hard to have sex with a guy I wasn't really attracted to. …
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1604 1 1
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I have hired a relationship consultant. He helps me through conversations with my wife.
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1604 2 1
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The Syringimals were filled to their 60 ml capacity with a gelatinous ocher blood. They fluttered around using sparkly wings stolen from Disney fairies, and attempted language through wax lips that were usually secured with scotch tape.
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1604 3 1
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When Carlton Hanks bought the house on the corner of Annunciation and General Pershing, right next to St. Anthony’s Catholic Church, he believed that he’d live in peace.
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1604 3 1
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I am calling to tell you what’s going to happen tomorrow.
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1603 3 2
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We’re not like a lot of your fly-by-night disease-based charities. Every pence we raise goes directly to St. Bartholomew’s, where 90% of it ends up in the pockets of doctors so they can buy expensive horses.
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1603 3 1
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I’ve got a full day ahead of me; I have to write a brief in Lipshutz v. Fredbird, a property damage claim against the St. Louis Cardinals’ mascot for breaking a fan’s glasses as part of his routine.
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1603 1 0
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When you see him, you'll know.That's what the prophecy was. Well, part of it, at least. The prophecy that Tabitha was to be the next Earth mother. That when she saw her partner, she would know. Keith, and his mission partner, and the elders, they had made it so. Made it…
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1603 13 10
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Well, it's midnight and here I am drinking alone at the Stick It Inn, watching the clock because that cute, brunette waitress with the home wrecker tits, Julie, is working again, thank ya, Jesus, and she just came over and murmured she'd be off at one and come over and…
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1603 11 5
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Thank you for the flip book with the woman dancing, bird wing elbows, knees this way and that.
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1603 3 0
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Who the hell wasn’t aware by now? What about prostate cancer awareness? One out of six men got prostate cancer, but you didn’t hear them whining. They weren’t waving blue ribbons in your face.
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1603 0 0
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Leaves clouded the air and piled in great brown heaps like rotted snow on the old Maine road, disturbed for the first time in months by a lone, black SUV. It plowed its way slowly across the asphalt, the black surface cracked and hoary with years of neglect, past…
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1603 9 4
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1603 5 3
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The arrangements of lights on the cracking towers are a segment of Orion’s belt, the handle of the Big Dipper and a section of Andromeda’s spine.
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1603 4 2
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Downton Abbey and The Beverly Hillbillies. They're practically the same show.
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1603 3 3
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I am speeding on the highway at 2AM because no one is here...
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1603 4 1
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Just beyond the tree, beyond the fence, close to the grey clouds that hung almost to the earth, a boy sat on another tree's stump. Beneath his crossed legs that he moved up and down rhythmically, under his bright red, Superman shorts, inscribed in the stump, a symbol which…
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1603 4 4
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I assume the shape of a pronoun.
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1603 4 1
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Motionless seconds turned
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1603 4 0
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As part of an online writers ”interview” series, I decided to deviate a little from the norm and do my first interview with our housecat, while I await my first ever conversation with an actual human.
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1603 5 2
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"I found a grey pubic hair the other day."
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1603 2 1
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"In the grave my lips will still be moving."
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1603 5 5
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Black bugs are falling, fluttering down
like big, black snow flakes.
Two bugs, almost always,
sometimes only one.
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1603 7 7
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They say that inside the veins of every Bohemian
lies an entire army of dead alcoholics.
I suppose this is true of me too.
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1602 1 0
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"Did you want that with the shrimp or the chicken?" the waitress asked. "Uh, shrimp is fine" the old man replied. "I'll be right back with some more bread" the waitress plasters a fake smile on as she walks away. 'What the hell am I doing. I've got a BS i
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1602 3 3
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1602 5 5
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He’s more than a little pissed at all this eternal boulder rolling.
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1602 1 1
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It was two days to town. His horse could only go one.
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1602 2 2
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It’s End of the World Karaoke at Big Daddy’s and Lara takes a photo of herself for Facebook before she goes on stage. She’s holding a basket of nachos in one hand and her phone in the other. After she takes the photo, she says, to Javier, “Hold these,” an
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