19.
When it was spring a little girl walked by herself along the tide line, a color form positioned from a different dimension while the editor considered the addition using criteria we cannot know so different is that world from this. Then she was gone.
The others gathered along the beach to walk in groups back and forth through a buzzing emptiness big as the ocean.
They made posters and hung them everywhere. With the passing days she became the photograph at its center: hair always in the same ponytail; always with the same smile.
Now something has washed up on shore. The others gather along the beach to walk in groups back and forth through a buzzing emptiness as big as the ocean.
Maybe the editor will put the little girl back again. The others will run to where she is and ask what happened. She will say: Nothing. Nothing happened.
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Author's Note
This is from the new sequence, but I think it's also free-standing.
The story behind this is a local tragedy.
The little girl disappeared in April. A couple days ago a pair of pants like what she was wearing washed up on shore. Yesterday there were people walking the beach again, searching.
So here, it's probably a little early for this. The story is on-going. It is unlikely to turn out this way.
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For me, the opening sentence is an overly complex introduction to the idea. It works, but I had to read it several times. The conceit itself is great, and the overall effect (for me) is a wistful hopefulness. I know better, but cannot help feeling. Nice.
Horrific and wonder-full at the same time.
The "while" in the first sentence is what made me have to reread the sentence. But that's good. The meaning is revealed by context, and other keywords (dimension, editor), so the seeming disjunction caused by the when-while is smoothed out after the fact. That creates a sense of delayed meaning, which is always a nice effect.
Stark. Good writing - "Now something has washed up on shore. The others gather along the beach to walk in groups back and forth through a buzzing emptiness as big as the ocean."
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thanks much for having a look, for the comments and *s.
i was interested in how this story might resonate amongst folk who aren't exposed to the actual story from which it takes off. and i can't really show this piece around here because it's still a bit soon. the mother of the missing girl is an acquaintance; i have friends who are friends of the family. the search parties were out walking the beach again over the past couple days, months after she disappeared. there's something profoundly sad about that, i think. but it would not be helpful to say as much here.
at least not yet.
brittle and engaging. like a lot.