Stories tagged funny

The Garden Heaters Of Kilburn

766766 views22 comments00 favs

when women’s hair shrinks into tight curly balls and sits on top of their heads like scrunches of wool, blowing in the wind, hanging from the mouths of recently shot deer.

Breasts and Pickups

93139313 views00 comments00 favs

Two giant greasy hands were working those breasts hard, squeezing and tugging and pulling. She didn't holler.

The Boy in the Sandwich

4646 views00 comments00 favs

Chapter 1 Once upon a time, I lived happily ever after. Chapter 2 But maybe you want to hear some of the details. I was just getting ready to eat a thick, gooey peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich when a blue spider pushed up a corner of the b

WWJRD

11801180 views88 comments77 favs

On a visit, Jesus sees bracelets with WWJD. What does that mean? he asks. What Would Jesus Do? they respond. I wouldn’t wear that, he says.

The Boy in the Sandwich (novel excerpt - children's)

10051005 views11 comment00 favs

I was getting ready to eat a thick peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich when a blue spider pushed up a corner of the bread from the inside and said, "Don't chomp, don't chew! We're in here, we're having a good time, and we don't feel like being eaten.

Traffic, I'm in no rush.

558558 views11 comment11 fav

Traffic, no need to be in a hurry.

A toast

128128 views44 comments33 favs

Come. / Do you want me to ask/if you feel old?

How Would Jesus Drive?

659659 views22 comments00 favs

Contemporary persecution of Christians takes on milder forms of torture like having to explain away something Pat Robertson said, or constantly having to hear about Fred Phelps picketing funerals because he happens to hate homosexuals.

A Staple Diet

738738 views77 comments00 favs

Whenever Mommy was gone, Josh Forcett's father made him eat staples, often by the spoonful.

Flipping Off People With Romney Bumper Stickers

10461046 views44 comments00 favs

“Hey,” I begin, a naughty smile breaking across my face before I can get to the punchline, “Want to drive around flipping off anyone with a Romney bumper sticker?” Kaleb chuckles and beams at me. It seems everyone likes a good girl turned naughty.

THANKS FOR TRYING TO RUIN MY DAY!

797797 views11 comment00 favs

If you work with the public, you're stressed. Unreasonable customers. Demanding bosses. Reduced staffing. I love my job, but the workload is tough and getting tougher. What can we do to keep our spirits up?Play Customer Appreciation! It's simple. Assign a point value…

the best laugh i've had all day

961961 views44 comments22 favs

when down the street/ a female cat/ yowls with the force/ of a red light blazing/ in an alley.

A Quotidian Happening

153153 views11 comment11 fav

The petrichor was demulcent and was suffused with the room air. Mandy was slouching in his couch contemplating about his future. He was studying engineering, but sucked at it.

Chop Your Own Firewood and Learn To Juggle: Advice I'm Going To Ignore From "Life's Little Instruction Book"

43224322 views1313 comments88 favs

"Life's Little Instruction Book." There are some words of wisdom here that I plan to ignore.

The Dart League

215215 views11 comment11 fav

His friends were obsessed with the end of the world. The joke he had told himself over and over again while fishing, was that on his return, the town would be completely gone. A smoldering crater. People sure can influence you.