Stories tagged funny

Modern Santa

194194 views1414 comments88 favs was taken. So was was in Canada, and that didn't make any sense. Canada didn't own Christmas. was the best they could do. "Why has it taken us this long to put up a website?" asked Santa.

Hipster Fighting

8888 views44 comments11 fav

My friend Abbs and I were out the other night in Williamsburg since it was so deliciously warm. You'd think the warm weather would put everyone in a good mood, but there's always gotta be one asshole. I went to park my car in front of Harefield Road only to see some…

Oh, You Silly, Silly Putty

846846 views11 comment11 fav

Aw, cheer the fuck up. I'm Silly Putty.

To Kill a Deer

11201120 views33 comments33 favs

On September 12th, 2011, the ban on deer hunting became official. Apparently, the hunting and killing of deer had become too cruel. The ban had been a long time in the making. Ever since man began hunting deer way back in the day—somewhere between a fe

One Cent Baby

13831383 views11 comment22 favs

Yesterday, I ripped off Dollar General. Today my baby died. Tomorrow I will file a lawsuit. After all, someone has to pay.

The Spider and the Corpse, Or, The Corpse and the Spider

10161016 views00 comments00 favs

The corpse lay silently in his open casket. Dressed in the finest silken suit. Italian. Rubber skin pulled over his bones. Arms folded in eternal prayer.

The Suicide Lie

17751775 views55 comments66 favs

I’m a suicide prevention counselor for teens. Most of the time I answer phones and tell kids not to kill themselves over their boyfriends and girlfriends and drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, etc. I’m not even sure what the number is—1-800-DONT-DIE or something li

Flowers for Our Dead Lovers

899899 views11 comment11 fav

We brought flowers for our dead lovers

The Fortune of an Accident

10721072 views00 comments00 favs

Staring at her horribly disfigured face, I envied her.

A Tale of Two Writers

918918 views11 comment11 fav

A famous author and an inspired writer meet at a coffee shop, both looking for inspiration. The patrons there don’t know if this meeting is by accident or design, but they are in awe of Fame.

An Unheeded Return

970970 views11 comment11 fav

On an over­cast and humid day in August, Jesus—with Dad’s per­mis­sion, of course—decided to make his grand return.

No, You Don’t Know What I am Thinking

12461246 views99 comments55 favs

Scratch his eyes out, flashed through Edgar's head, scratch his eyes out.

A Letter to Saint Francis de Sales – Patron Saint for Writers

12551255 views11 comment00 favs

I've been struck with a bout of writer's block, struggling to get pen to page or finger to keyboard....So I make paper airplanes.

A Boy Who Looks Like Horses, or A Horse Who Looks Like Boys

19421942 views44 comments33 favs

He nuzzled the breasts with his face for a moment, his leathery skin and tangles of hair tickling her in the process.

The Defective Detective : The Curious Case of the Kilchester Courier

16241624 views00 comments00 favs

In which Clint is sucked into a remarkably civilised but mildly deranged crime scene. There he encounters almost-blackmail, not-actually prostitution, probable-sex scandals, genuine-imposters & the very real theft of something incredibly important. Twice.