Stories tagged doctors

With Her Mouth Full

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He had short dark hair, a black shirt and an accent.

One Big Ghetto, One Big Parking Lot

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It should be a simple law of the universe that anyone waiting for a freshly-minted Xanax prescription should not have to stand in line for two and a half hours in a pharmacy packed wall-to-wall with hurricane evacuees. People talk only of FEMA, homeowner's policies, flood…

Small Talk

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Her fingers scampered over the table, practicing the deft stitching of the basilar artery.

Three Questions for Any Doctor

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What are you dying to ask your Doctor?

Another Plastic Surgery

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He told me to count backwards from 10. I was out by 8. He was now in complete control of my life – what a helpless situation.

The Element of Ritual

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Nurse Smithers straightened Dr. Baumgartner’s feathered head dress. it had slipped down below the caduceus so carefully painted on his forehead by the medical ritual staff.

The Stick

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When you finally got blood from the hard stick You spotted the backflash of red And said Thank God. The woman’s legs and arms Were everywhere, and you were in the middle Holding her down with one hand while wielding A butterfly in the other. You stuc

Outpatient

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"Both my parents were hypnotists. As were two of my grandparents."

The Proceedure

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"This head of lettuce," I asked feebly, "Will it stay fresh or will it turn brown in a few days? Because I'm not sure how far I trust you gentlemen at this precise instant."

Great Expectations

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"Who ever heard of a Jewish cop?" they would say to him at every opportunity. "Irish. The Irish are cops. And the Aryans. Look at you. You look like a Nazi."

The Hypochondriac Artist

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Some of his most seminal papers have been published in the Annals of Misery and the Chronicles of Chronicity.

When To Break Up With Your Gynecologist- Part II.

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I reminded myself to be glad he was a man who likes vaginas, as they aren’t something I’d ever want to look at. His gloved hand entered into my flesh, only he didn’t make small talk like the former gynecologist I broke up with. I began daydreaming as he p

The Day Nixon Died

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"I remember thinking, 'Good.'