Stories tagged diet

Why Your Parents Are Republicans

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Plastic utensils. Your parents love them. They love them so much that they wash them. They wash them so often the plastic grows cloudy and weak. Prongs break off the forks, their limbs amputated and muted. Stabbing food was never…

Polo

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“You look strangely familiar,” he said, taking a drink and swinging his leg over the horse, landing on the ground beside me ...

Verboten

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Scales were installed on station platforms. Those who were overweight were turned away

Licking around the rim

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Sure, it was a hot day, but the driver was in the middle of a driving lesson!

Capitalism in the electronic age

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Then I would say to my new friends, “My God, look at all the weight you’ve lost.” Even when they hadn’t lost any. Even when they were fatter than before.

How I Lost 1 lb Per Day

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Warning: Open and read before making any dumb-ass New Year's resolutions.

Conviction

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“You’ve put all my anorexic friends on the table nearest the buffet,” I say. “And all my bulimic friends on the other side of the room away from the buffet and the toilets.”

A Staple Diet

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Whenever Mommy was gone, Josh Forcett's father made him eat staples, often by the spoonful.

Parallels

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“I honestly can't believe how much you eat, honey.”, Lenora said as I put down the fork after gorging myself on breakfast. Twelve pancakes, four eggs, two cups of coffee, a glass of milk, and half a pound of bacon had passed through my lips this morning. …

Diet Plans

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She positioned the mouse cursor over the word Bikini and double clicked. The hard drive of the ageing work PC chugged into life as an Excel document dragged itself onto the screen.

Radical Middle-Aged Cake Acceptance

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Cake is not the enemy.