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The Vegan Defense League is a vigilante group formed to fill the gap left by local law enforcement, who jam the parking lot a mile down the road at a donut shop. “By the time the cops finish their coffee and chocolate frosted donuts, we could be dead.”
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103812
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Before he became famous Faulkner was postmaster at the University of Mississippi Substation Post Office, a fact that endears him to mailmen around the world.
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103032
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She turned him down again. Said it was her insomnia. She was so tired, she said, she had to work in the morning, and why couldn't he understand that? She rolled over facing away from him. He sat up in bed, thinking. When was the last time? Three months ago? Four? He…
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151683
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For fifteen years Wendy waited for Harry to leave his wife. From time to time, there’d been ultimatums, break-ups too, but they never stuck. Now Wendy’s luck was about to change.
It was Tuesday, Wendy and Harry’s standing night to be together. His wif
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123487
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tumbling for you from afar as close-up. They will rewrite your dancing form like a proper magical spell on all their maddest days, using the branches of cherished trees dipped into the trapped wells of certain hosts of …
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1335106
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I turn up the music and slip into drone, rock it like a tunnel in canary. When that does not erase his face, I cup my breast with one hand and let my hair fall.
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107754
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“I’m going,” O’Bannon-Krim says with exasperation as she throws trinkets such as Dylan Thomas beer coozies and Edna St. Vincent Millay hair scrunchies into a cardboard box.
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101954
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A study found that in bat species noted for female monogamy male bats have small testes and big brains, while in species noted for female promiscuity males have testicles five times as big, but smaller brains.
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11271010
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960107
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My blood has turned to flour I've been in Babylon too long My heart was singed by fire But it's drowning in my song We raised a prayer to Mary We had to take our share We took our places in the ferry But we didn't pay the fare And we don't know…
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103943
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We all need a place to stay.
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94933
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Your mother was married to a Minotaur
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118254
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He reveled in the chase, giddy when just out of arm’s reach. When to catch him, that was the question.
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104631
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One of Montejo's captains has us drilling in the rain again. The sun hasn't shone for days and the air is stifling, like trying to breath under water. Everything looks gray except the palms. Each green leaf droops in the rain like a…
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2141710
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Whenever my mother’s will-to-live wavered and her hand reached out for the electric fence, my ash would whisper, “Live, live.”
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90911
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Everybody knew the McDonald’s at the Waterfront was selling theraflu stamp bags, and I guess I’d heard how bad it was for you—they’d had reports of dumbasses ODing on channel 2, 4, and 11—but it was a lot stronger than regular heroin and a lot cheaper...
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124376
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Now, the Midwest was ashes. The oceans were covered with hydroponics plant growth.
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89810
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Floating along the ebbs of the ocean,toward the horizon, where time has no say,an end that will never be reached.
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95263
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Day by day people went missing. Reports of the ads being answered with a robocall solution to their problems were at first unconfirmed. Yesterday my best friend told me his emotional distress call was going to be channeled into a free trip to what he call
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29222
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O most disconsolate ashtray, you are not politically correct, it's a conspiracy I suspect. O most disconsolate ashtray, how I long to see your smoke arise, suspended in my eyes, now you have nothing left to do but sit there in a smokeless …
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187431
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Got a home repair question? Ask Mr. Fix-It! He usually knows the answer, and if not, your problem isn’t worth fixing.
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85441
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A woman I work with is always going on about her daughter is an expert water-skier and has a collection of antique thimbles and makes prize-winning congo bars.
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110462
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Your usage of the English language / is awkward and passé—
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53621
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He wore a jacket with just
a letter; by this conspicuous reserve
he hoped to show the others it didn’t matter what you did
last year, only who you hit in the here and now, and how hard.
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99522
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No one is a Puritan under all that powder!
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92596
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so here we all are/
deep in debt
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1088149
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I assemble myself daily//
from the ready-mades/
of a fast talking world,
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10881210
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We can’t be sure. Perhaps it is/
some slight exaggeration of one/
or several elements that steals our breath.
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114594
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This guy struts and never walks, and while doing so he reads and sends text messages and emails from his smart phone and so never walks in a straight line.
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3385322
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Assholes are assholes
who do asshole things.
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