Stories tagged irony

Breach of Faith

14951495 views33 comments11 fav

You love your wife and would never do anything to hurt her. In thirteen years of marriage you’ve never been unfaithful, never done more than glance at another woman. Until tonight. Tonight you got lucky. Oh God, how you got lucky!

French Vanilla Death

22 views00 comments00 favs

She found him sprawled on the floor, facedown in the International Delight. Not surprisingly, even the defunct stranger had preferred the French Vanilla over the awful Amaretto.


1111 views66 comments11 fav

Three months had passed since the grease fire melted Jasmine's face.I sat beside her on the hospital bed and held her clamy hand as she trembled. "No more stir-fry," I joked. The doctor and nurse faked a chuckle. Jasmine might have, but the bandages muffled…

The Devil's Bedpost

23812381 views00 comments00 favs

A cellphone vibrates ineffectually against unfeeling skin. One last rivulet of blood slowly oozes down the wall as it dries. The rest of the room is still.

Rescued From A Dream

742742 views00 comments00 favs

There were six people on the bridge, myself included, and we were making our way across when something exploded—it was more a rifle shot than explosion, actually—and it cut like a razor through the delicate fabric of the moment.

My Commencement Speech

783783 views11 comment11 fav

To The Graduates Of The Class Of 2010: You are here today at a critical crossroads of your life. For most of your 22 years you’ve been taught to work hard, obey the rules, listen with respect to your elders and to trust that every effort you make wil

One Minute to Midnight

2323 views00 comments00 favs

Hell’s all your sins on instant replay.

Me and The American Dream

4242 views11 comment11 fav

Last time I saw the American Dream was last Tuesday, down at the Unemployment Office. He was looking pretty worn out, as if being unemployed for over a year was finally getting to him.

The Fashion Police

122122 views1111 comments66 favs

The closet was an overflowing cornucopia of clashing patterns, cheesy fabrics and tragic accessories. There was a dizzying array of skin tight body shirts with long pointy collars, Nehru jackets, striped bell bottoms, flairs, plaid sansabelt slacks, bolo

God Wanted Us to Come Here

795795 views00 comments00 favs

Betty had been looking for a distraction; the lawsuits were out of control. Her last nonprofit, Faith and Life Children's Organization, had run into some difficulties due to the recession and the obvious result of trying to do more with less. Why couldn't people…

Traffic, I'm in no rush.

707707 views11 comment11 fav

Traffic, no need to be in a hurry.

Soon, and for the Rest of Your Life

13521352 views1414 comments1010 favs

. . . and the last thing you’ll smell will be new-cut pine.

Walking In My Big Black Boots

15561556 views55 comments22 favs

"People do that. They cross the road when they aren’t supposed to and get away with it. They do it all the time. Only, then, he might think I was a rebel and I’d rather he imagine me a square. A square who never was a wild thing. A rebel who chose to be t

Me And My Liberal Friends

11531153 views77 comments77 favs

“Thank God The Yogurt Store Was Open!”. I knew this would cause cynics to seethe about me and my #FirstWorldProblems. While those less with the times or from many years of vanilla ancestry, might become racist themselves, indicating that I was suffering f

Sugared. Spiced. Salted.

852852 views44 comments22 favs

They continued sitting by the fake oasis, drinking single malt, eating soy crackers and chatting about the quality of escorts in glitzy glamping resorts. The Paring happened on number three. Just as the gold leafed chocolate fondant oozed decadent Bolivia