Stories tagged christmas

I Hate Christmas & Jesus Does, Too

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It's just not right that the Son of God has to celebrate His birthday on the biggest secular holiday of the year.

Christmas

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First of all, there was no snow. I seem to remember that. And there was no Christmas tree in the house.

The First Poem of Xmas

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Xmas! Yuletide! Chanukah! Winter Solstice! Rah! Rah! Rah! Don we now our gay apparel Parody the Xmas carol.

His Name is Chaos

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Should probably be faster at the cash register

Southbound

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Maggie leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the Greyhound bus window. Over the river and through the woods, she thought watching the snow west of Interstate 95 melt away into skinny pines and palmettos. Brunswick 2, Jacksonville 70, slid by riding a …

Christmas Magic

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You know what parents have to do to get an Xbox? They don't just stand in line and someone hands them an Xbox, OK? That's sacrifice. They have to sacrifice and sacrifice and sacrifice. I mean, I chase alpacas a mile every night in subfreezing conditions,

The Third Poem Of Xmas

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Xmas is upon us! Sales are in the stores Candles in the windows Wreaths upon the doors.

The Snowman on the Moon

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'Tis a cruel season. I have nothing and no means to order anything. Nobody to shop for and nobody to buy things for me. But the catalogues keep coming. And these catalogues don't bring out the best in me. The catalogues switch on what I call my want switc

The Unicorn's Hero

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Why did you want a Princess Leia doll

At the Christmas Carol Bar

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I’ll take my Christmas carols neat-

Hard Candy

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Music from the Nutcracker cycles as if in a loop through my brain. I think it’s the Arab Dance, the one called Coffee. It’s coming to me like a mantra, seductive and hypnotic.

We All Look So Perfect As We All Fall Down

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My server wore cat's eye glasses, a Wonderbra that made her breasts like the embryos from Alien wanting to burst their way out of her Hooters t-shirt but couldn't.

Fickle Currency

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which I would answer dressed only in a pair of his Christmas boxers

Hemingway On Trash Day

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The morning sun rose up over the flat prairie, and the powdery snow crunched as you walked on it, and the air was so crisp it hurt as you took a breath. That is good, I thought. That is how you knew you were alive, and I was truly very alive, and there was not much to do so…

Bullfrog Prince

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Santa took a long drag on the joint and exploded in a paroxysm of coughing. Smoke plumed from his mouth and billowed around his head. Still coughing, he passed the joint to Grinch. The weed smelled dank and skunky. Elf laughed and shook his head. “Dude, I told…