3246 22 14
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I used to score girls by taking them on a ride past Frauenstein, up on a hill where you could see the trees, the whole lot of them sparkling white and pink in the breeze.
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41301912
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It was a sore molar that was giving me trouble, on the bottom right. The dentist, about whose adulterous affairs everybody in the neighborhood knew and whispered about, ts-ts-ts'ed me and murmured "decay" before pulling out the drill.
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45603220
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It’s never good to get arrested on an empty stomach.
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389479
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It’s Leap Year and my school is observing Sadie Hawkins Day, which means the sixth-graders have a dance where the girls ask the boys to dance and the rest of us get to dress up like hillbillies.
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173558
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But you know what? You give yourself a fall back plan, you fall back. Not me. I am shooting for the stars and rising high. Next week, I start filming my first feature film. I get to play Tommy Lee Jones’ sexy little stepdaughter. Me and Tommy are g
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31975
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On the train this morning I stood next to a man reading the same book I was reading and on the same page. The book was published over a decade ago and over 700 pages in total so I thought that was some coincidence. I read looking over at his book for a while. It was…
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234084
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We're on a bench in the park under some trees close to the carousel when she tells me I can't count on having a career as a professional gambler.
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184621
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Romper Room with Beer
We go out for a thin New York Pizza at Lanesplitter’s over on Telegraph and watch the drunks staggering out of the bar across the street to have a smoke on the sidewalk, since you can’t smoke inside bars anymore. They ga
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8500
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Ice Shelf the Size of Manhattan
Breaks Off Canadian Island
And they started building all over it immediately. Especially on the upper East Side, snobs with actual blue blood in their veins. Bearded taxi drivers mumbling in 56 languages began run
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174730
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Flying Piece of Art Causes Chaos in Switzerland
(from news article, with some additions)
A giant inflatable dog turd by an American artist blew away from an exhibition in the garden of a Swiss Museum, bringing down a power line and breaking a gree
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27201913
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She wanted one, she said. She wanted one who looked like me. I wanted one, because I wanted her. I wanted her for everything; I wanted her to fill every crack and space inside of me.
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5492
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Her baby is a furred thing, alternately bristled and then soft. She hopes it isn’t shedding, wonders how she’ll ever get all that hair out of her if it is.
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198143
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What’s it like, sex? I ask her.
You see that picture? she asks, nodding to the large canvas covered with a film of dust propped up against her bedroom wall. That picture’s the only thing she never sold. She hocked it a few times but always got the
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4997147
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The plumber has three lives left or else he is already dead.
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1530
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You left for the bathroom over twenty minutes ago. I started to think you're not coming back. Because who does that? Who goes into a bathroom in a restaurant and doesn't come back after twenty minutes?…
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