Stories tagged shit

Mania

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To Charles Bukowski "I haven't shat or pissed in seven years," she tells him, negotiating each word around the Marlboro. Because he doesn't know what else to say, Isaiah asks, "Haven't you seen a …

Vow

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“You buy shit, it’s gonna smell like shit,” he said. “You should’ve come to me like I told you and got a good deal with my nephew.”

Stupid Fuckin' Douchebag

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[WARNING: MAY BE HARMFUL IF INGESTED INTERNALLY. DO NOT OVER-INFLATE. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DRIVE THIS VEHICLE IN THE "SLOW LANE." YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND. ANYTHING YOU SAY MAY BE USED AGAINST YOU IN A COURT OF LAW. DON'T FORGET TO REPORT ON YOUR NEIGHBOR

Snack

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Kerryn saved us from ourselves really. Would you be reading this had she eaten it?

Shovelling shit.

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“Whatcha doin'?” “Moving this shit.” “Why?” “Well, I can’t leave it here!”

The Shittest Love Story Ever Told

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I had great difficulty trying to write a love poem. There are few good rhymes with the word ‘diarrhoea'.

This Story is Terrible, and I Only Wrote It to Annoy You People

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[DON'T OPEN 'TIL X-MAS!]

Why Mitch McConnell Can't Get It Up: A Tragedy in One Act

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["SEXUAL CONGRESS" VS. THE "STRICT OBSTRUCTIONIST" ... WHO WILL WIN OUT?]