Stories tagged shit

Mania

325325 views44 comments22 favs

To Charles Bukowski "I haven't shat or pissed in seven years," she tells him, negotiating each word around the Marlboro. Because he doesn't know what else to say, Isaiah asks, "Haven't you seen a …

Vow

339339 views44 comments22 favs

“You buy shit, it’s gonna smell like shit,” he said. “You should’ve come to me like I told you and got a good deal with my nephew.”

Stupid Fuckin' Douchebag

549549 views00 comments00 favs

[WARNING: MAY BE HARMFUL IF INGESTED INTERNALLY. DO NOT OVER-INFLATE. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DRIVE THIS VEHICLE IN THE "SLOW LANE." YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND. ANYTHING YOU SAY MAY BE USED AGAINST YOU IN A COURT OF LAW. DON'T FORGET TO REPORT ON YOUR NEIGHBOR

Snack

259259 views33 comments22 favs

Kerryn saved us from ourselves really. Would you be reading this had she eaten it?

Shovelling shit.

274274 views66 comments00 favs

“Whatcha doin'?” “Moving this shit.” “Why?” “Well, I can’t leave it here!”

The Shittest Love Story Ever Told

110110 views77 comments11 fav

I had great difficulty trying to write a love poem. There are few good rhymes with the word ‘diarrhoea'.

This Story is Terrible, and I Only Wrote It to Annoy You People

427427 views77 comments00 favs

[DON'T OPEN 'TIL X-MAS!]

Why Mitch McConnell Can't Get It Up: A Tragedy in One Act

216216 views00 comments00 favs

["SEXUAL CONGRESS" VS. THE "STRICT OBSTRUCTIONIST" ... WHO WILL WIN OUT?]

Pebbles Against Empire

105105 views77 comments55 favs

Whatever you have,/ we can monetize it