Stories tagged people

The Dancing Bear

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Because the dog sleeps all day, she's awake all night, whining at both sides of their bed, high and plaintive, punctuated by the rolling of her ball and the clicking of her nails on the wooden floor. Sometimes the ball rolls under the radiator or the bureau or the bookcase…

Deer People

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There was no provision for keeping the post on the door, but I did not have the fingernails to pry it off.

Everything to do with you

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I don't know, I could go on all day with these little niches he found in every person that made them at least a little interesting. Everyone collects baseball cards.

The Wonders of Wonder

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There it was, square in the middle of someone’s lawn: a slice of white bread, like a shirtless Englishman stretched out in the sun.

Human Resources

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Lawrence Light had two degrees: business and theology. I liked the clean font he chose for his resume. At the interview, his face was open. His eyes were bright.

Pedestrian

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He was the drunken buffoon pedestrian about town, sexy in a silly ass way in his custom made t-shirts and boxer shorts. Because Rooster Toot was impotent, thus never turning his boxer shorts into obscene pup tents, he was allowed to gallivant around Smoky

Why Mitch McConnell Can't Get It Up: A Tragedy in One Act

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["SEXUAL CONGRESS" VS. THE "STRICT OBSTRUCTIONIST" ... WHO WILL WIN OUT?]

My Name is Friedrich Nietzsche, and I Just Love this Damn Crazy Donkey!

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[IF JANE JACOBS AIN'T "PHILOSOPHY" ... NOTHING IS!]

A GROUNDBREAKING JERK OF A STAGGERING PENIS by Dame Egghead

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Portland, OR. 2006—Present.

People

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Good kid. Awesome job in big cities. Travels a lot. Enjoys Martinis and G&T. She's a romantic. Spends her time online trolling people into submission. Likes softcore porn. Sets cats on fire. Collects stamps.

All The Right Steps

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"I didn’t take my mother’s denial of my dream lightly. I wanted it desperately. I cried and pleaded, nagged and begged. On several occasions, I temperamentally got out of the car at a stop sign and walked. Once, my mother said that I was nagging her so mu

Me And My Liberal Friends

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“Thank God The Yogurt Store Was Open!”. I knew this would cause cynics to seethe about me and my #FirstWorldProblems. While those less with the times or from many years of vanilla ancestry, might become racist themselves, indicating that I was suffering f

a supermarket horror story

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stoned,/ i made the mistake/ of walking to the store across the busy street/ to find myself in the middle/ of the pep-up/ for a basketball game/ or something like that.

we're already at the movies

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israeli flares light gaza/ casting incandescent nudity/ upon jumbled puzzle piece buildings.

Junctions / Decisions

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Next to you, the mother tightens her grip on her stroller. The young teenager tears her gaze from her mobile phone for an instant.