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The other night at work, some kid was in for swallowing a snail's shell. He was nine and, according to the computer, did not have cognitive insufficiency. That last bit was probably put there to make us all not feel guilty about laughing at him.
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21362
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I don't understand now's dislike of the mini deaths. The daily deaths that happen all around you. Skin shedding cells, fallen hairs clinging like cobwebs to a fuzzy coat, the crescent moon of a clipped nail, the tooth twisted at school till it falls on…
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6810
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“Hey guys,” I said in a cheerful tone. “Whut up, dawgs?” If you want to communicate with kids these days, it helps to know the latest in “hip-hop” slang.
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235117
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Mario was a dafty, a pure numpty, and he didn't have a clue what he was doing. 1. Tube (noun) Scottish slang for idiot. I knew from previous shifts that my thighs would hurt as if I'd done the Grand …
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16753
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118220
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when women’s hair shrinks into tight curly balls and sits on top of their heads like scrunches of wool, blowing in the wind, hanging from the mouths of recently shot deer.
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4600
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It was the evening of 24th of October 1642, the day after the bloody battle at Edgehill. Long into the night I was still attending the wounded from that most horrific of encounters. Working for the Parliamentarians under the tyrannical rule of Oliver Crom
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3321
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I stumbled out of the tiny ram shackled theatre in the bowels of the East End of London, my head spinning, sweat pouring profusely down my forehead. I loosened my cravat gasping for the cold night air. It was no use, my breathing became more and more…
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9345
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"Never! Use sugar! Except! As a prefix . . . for daddy."
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200
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"Never! Use sugar! Except! As a prefix . . . for daddy."
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212052
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Instead of these gew-gaw ‘signs’ you waffle about, I will give you reality
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18943320
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Somehow, random phrases and sentences from the stories, comments and profile pages were generated as “replies”.
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114332
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breaking down the doors to get in
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101131
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He pronounced the Afrikaans word with the vowel sound like the vowel in dour. It meant box, but it also meant cunt.
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10730
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The night sky was scorched red with fire; the once peaceful night now had become a living nightmare. At first, it had been the distant booming of cannon fire, but now the terrified screams tore through the night. Louder still was the ringing in my head and the sound of…
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