After I find the condom wrapper lodged in the vacuum head I sit on the carpet beside the bed for a long time. I watch the magpie in the backyard diving at the pool of water that has gathered on the uneven patio stones, it's sleek…

...I’m honest enough to know that fucking around has never been accidental or unplanned. Every time I did it, even in the rock bottom throes of esteem, sobriety, and life, yes, even on the brink of suicide, I knew exactly what I was doing...

Difference 'twixt night and day