Stories tagged this

New Lows In Elevator Music

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electric zither replaces wah wah pedal so Isaac Hayes can roll over in his grave again...

Why Carrie Brownstein Is Cooler Than You—Since She & I Are Part of the Same CADENCE—And I Can Explain My SOUL, Better Than You!

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[PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE THAT "FUCKING ADVICE" COLUMNIST "DANG SEWAGE" WAS GILLES DE RAIS—RAPER OF DEAD CHILDREN'S BODIES—IN A "PASSED" (BUT "FAILED" LIFE), AND HAS ONLY GRUDGINGLY BURNED OFF FEW OF HIS KARMIC RIBBONS, BEFORE "REVERTING" TO RACKING UP MORE!]

Why James Bopp, Jr., Decided to Just 'Chuck It' and Start 'Walking the Streets for Money' in Las Vegas, NV

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["Sorry, Charlie — GODDAMN TUNA!" "WHERE'S the MUTH-ah-FUCK-in' BEEEEF!" "DOUBLE your PLEASURE ... TRIPLE your GUM!"]

Songs of Propinquity

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We whistle on the way to work ...

Why Mitch McConnell Can't Get It Up: A Tragedy in One Act

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["SEXUAL CONGRESS" VS. THE "STRICT OBSTRUCTIONIST" ... WHO WILL WIN OUT?]

My Name is Friedrich Nietzsche, and I Just Love this Damn Crazy Donkey!

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[IF JANE JACOBS AIN'T "PHILOSOPHY" ... NOTHING IS!]

Just a Suggestion.

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[testing ... one, two, three ... testing ... is this thing on? ... ok, here goes:]

HOW TO TELL PEOPLE WE SHOULD EVACUATE THE PLANET BECAUSE, APPARENTLY, YOU'VE BEEN INSANE ALL ALONG by Stephen Hawking

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[E ≠ mc²; 2 + 2 = 5; etc.]

gah head gah head ghazal

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hard, hard sex in a wind tunnel

Blow Me

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[BEEZLEBUB SAYS, "GO!"]