1873 2 1
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The crowd gathered around the dying man's bed, waiting for his last words.
He was a genius. The most prolific writer and philosopher to ever live. He wiped his ass with the words of Shakespeare. The thoughts of Plato, Socrates, Descartes, and Nietzsche w
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8400
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The Outlaw was tired. Tired and sore. During his short life on God’s great planet, mostly in the last ten years, he had raped thousands of women. Possibly even tens of thousands. He had killed at least as many men, most likely more. Each one of them tur
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150010
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That stupid bastard seemed to defy death at every turn in his life. His actions suggested invincibility, but his catch phrase indicated full awareness that he was indeed quite vincible.
And how fitting was his name. We didn’t know if it
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120700
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I took up smoking just to show the world how easy it was to quit. It’s been five months now, and my wife is wondering why I haven’t yet.
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8200
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I was fired today for fucking my boss’s secretary during my lunch break. Those were his words. I would never use such a harsh phrase to describe such an intimate moment. He called me into his office in the afternoon—after he had caught us and given me
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153600
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His hands were like that when he was born. No one really understood why. Neither of his parents had any body parts made of oats. Neither of them had even eaten any oats the morning the conception took place. But sure enough, when Edwin MacGrain was born o
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167400
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The funeral was a blast. One helluva time. We all had the time of our lives. Well, all of us except Dominic. It pissed me off that Dominic didn’t have fun. After all, he was the center of attention. The whole day was about him, and we spared no expense
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5500
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The outlaw looked upon him with a spiteful silence as if he regarded what the man had said as the dumbest thing he had ever heard.
Welcome to Alma. I’m Siddhartha Jesus Smith, he said again.
You some kinda confused preacher, Sid?
No sir. No nee
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127200
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He was arrested for a horrible crime. It took more than three weeks to identify the body. The newspapers were vague so as not to terrify anyone. He hung his head low as he pled guilty.
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147011
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Jonas Griffin stared out the bay window as he drank his morning cup, his eyes gleaming with something between wistfulness and disdain at Reynold who sat patiently in the adjacent yard, leaning against the majestic oak tree that towered in its hundred year
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119221
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Everybody knew it would happen. It didn’t happen exactly when or how they thought it would, but nonetheless it happened.
“I told you it would happen,” a bearded man told his wife.
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130633
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"Dad, I already told you about your wife. She’s not coming."
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139433
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On September 12th, 2011, the ban on deer hunting became official. Apparently, the hunting and killing of deer had become too cruel.
The ban had been a long time in the making. Ever since man began hunting deer way back in the day—somewhere between a fe
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7811
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T.S. had said that April was the cruelest month. J.B. Miter had always remembered that line, although with all that birthed itself during those thirty days, he had hardly understood why. But now, he thought, he was beginning to understand.
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183212
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Yesterday, I ripped off Dollar General. Today my baby died. Tomorrow I will file a lawsuit. After all, someone has to pay.
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