I’m nowhere near as clever as George Saunders. You might be here looking for something else, something more profound or even biting satire or absurdism but, nope, just me in a cave.

Bradley turns out to be a walking red flag. He approaches as I unload the U-Haul and says, "Hi, I'm Bradley. I'm not very modest so you might see me from time to time in various stages of undress." Bradley is the last man on Earth I wish to see undressed.