3771 7 9
|
It’s Leap Year and my school is observing Sadie Hawkins Day, which means the sixth-graders have a dance where the girls ask the boys to dance and the rest of us get to dress up like hillbillies.
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2728 21 15
|
I had time to kill. I got on the merry-go-round, letting it go slow, thinking of starting blocks, how I might push off them.
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1986 35 25
|
Their mother never teaches them to wipe front to back or to brush their teeth before bed.
|
2261 6 3
|
This happened to me on Friday, May 3, 2002 in North Austin on the corner of North Lamar and Mulberry Street.
|
1603 8 3
|
I just like puppies, and slapping people.
|
1814 4 5
|
It’s true enough my status as honorary male has come in handy in my profession, but I never considered matters of the flesh. I feel a surge of warmth between my thighs as if a cock is dangling there, thick and florid. The sensation is oddly exciting.
|
1483 4 1
|
I'm delighted to report that I've come up with my own school of thought. It's called, "Dress Like a Cat Until You Get What You Want."
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3099 18 17
|
Sex when you’re pregnant
Is like sex when you aren’t
Pregnant, but with extra people.
|
1675 20 13
|
"For God's sake," my mother said. "There could be anthrax in the candy."
My mother worried about me going out on Halloween.
|
1275 3 3
|
salmon
maple syrup
horseradish
smoke detector
the list read, scrawled in purple marker on the refrigerator door.
|
2029 21 21
|
Theresa stopped speaking to me because I ate cows. This made things simple. There was no conversation.
|
1653 11 10
|
"I looked at this skinny, little female child, Meadow Simms. It wasn't only that she was small. Meadow Simms didn't look like other children. Her parents were hippies."
|
4362 32 20
|
It’s never good to get arrested on an empty stomach.
|
3984 19 12
|
It was a sore molar that was giving me trouble, on the bottom right. The dentist, about whose adulterous affairs everybody in the neighborhood knew and whispered about, ts-ts-ts'ed me and murmured "decay" before pulling out the drill.
|
3104 22 14
|
I used to score girls by taking them on a ride past Frauenstein, up on a hill where you could see the trees, the whole lot of them sparkling white and pink in the breeze.
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