Elephant

STOMPING story. A giant of a thing. Brilliant, Michelle!

So I really love elephants, I adore them. For many reasons.. so I clicked on your story.. because of the title. I really enjoyed this.. thank you. :)

Good, good work, Michelle! (I've been working on my animal fact story too)
An elephant never forgets - Loved what Martha wrote (above)
Fave

Good use of the prompt. I've been banging my head all day trying to think of a story for this prompt. Maybe something will surface tomorrow.

Sometimes - unpolished is the best. Leaves it where it wants to be. Good story, Michelle. I was blasted out of the water with this prompt.

--I piss gallons on what they say.--

sometimes a good piss is whati is called for. sometimes, gallons.

nice--comes straight from the unconscious, the writing, past all filters. as in early morning writing, the consciousness thinned, and here we go---

unfortunately, my money is on the destroyers - the beasts might have a chance if the tigers go extinct first and stop eating their cubs.

Nice elephantine rant, who knew Dumbo was so profane all these years the kids were watching.

I loved this because it is so raw, that you placed yourself in that tub of hide & it brought forth strong emotions in me. Fave, for sure & I agree with Gary; early morning writing, unfiltered & with the blinders off...go - go -go

Michelle, excellent piece. Enjoyed "i piss gallons on what they say" a very human sentence uttered by an elephant.

Whoa. This is terrific. "Urine is essence." Indeed. love this, Melvy girl!

Wonderful, Michelle. The elephant's rage is just brilliant.

Nice, Michelle. It’s good to finally hear what an elephant has to say.

Hey thanks guys! What an excellent thing to greet me this morning, all this flurry of good will on my little story. Maybe you're all right -- a raw, unpolished piss is what you need. I really appreciate you reading and commenting!

my favorite line...the last, "And I never forget" so perfectly set up by the piss image, (we're talking gallons here!)The "forget" phrase something handed down so long by humans, a quaint anthropomorphism that now comes across menacingly even ironically...just who's superior to whom here? My heart's with Horton

I have been in love with elephants ever since I learned that Horton was related to Catherine the Great. Lovely.

Unpolished? Leave it that way. This one grabs you by the throat. Great story.

Thanks, Doug, Maggie, Jack - I am thrilled to have this so well received. The gut is mightier than the... something. I am honored.

Michelle, this is my third read through. Great characterization, and I, too, would leave this story as is. Sometimes we hit it just right on the first go-through! Fav from me too.

Interesting. I wonder if ending on the forget line is best. I suppose it must be in there, for several reasons...

Might use this one in an exercise, too. Students to write from animal's POV

Michelle, good writing. Jotted it down in five minutes after thinking about it in between other tasks for a day? Yet the story has a powerful, appealing, natural polish just as it is. "Do they recall the massacres, the bodies, the wretched reek of death? Do they know my grief?" Do they even care?

Thanks. Enjoyed very.

This is a great piece of writing, a story from the animal's point of view, without 'humanising' the elephant. That great animal having its say, at last. Very good!

An interesting prompt really well-executed. I love the repetition: they say.

Just read this again, wish I could give it a second fave!

Very nice, Michelle. Love the urine line, nips it in the bud.

Love this paragraph: They say they love animals, and they got details to prove it. They collect lists. Bulls are colorblind. Butterflies were flutterbies. Polar bears are lefties, snails like to sleep.

Fantastic! "I'm busy here with too much sun and sky and not enough water for my baby." Yes! Thank you for this. Made my day.

Thanks so much to all you amazing writers for your support of the unpolished. Blows my mind. Really! I am honored to be here among you. My inner elephant is stomping for joy!

You and I have already discussed this over at Voices, but let me just also add my love for this piece here at Fictionaut. I am a whale of a being, and I barely exist. That's the whole of it.The matriarchy has been killed off by poachers and suddenly you have kids raising kids.There's no one to pass down the ancient elephant wisdom. And researchers will tell you they used to have plenty. One of the most beautiful unique and compassionate family oriented species on the planet being ground into nothingness beneath man's continued greed and inhumanity to all life forms. Thanks for writing this.

Thanks, Darryl. I really liked the way that one line came out too: the ref to whales, the enormity of these beasts and their situation, the terrible disappearing act. Thanks for this read. Have you read The White Bone by Barbara Gowdy? A gorgeous book.

Excellent way you gave voice to the voiceless. It reminds me of "Last Chance to See" by Douglas Adams.

just read this after watching doc on Nat Geo, really right on.

Thanks, Joe, LAS. Appreciate your comments!

And in the end, the hubris used by such shows like Animal Planet can never connect to the true Elephant. Only the true mind's willingness to understand what the Elephant does represent as the Elephant....

As far as the lack of wisdom passed down from Elephant to Elephant in the face of the Mothers being destroyed: 'researchers' possess limited knowledge themselves as Nature ALWAYS trumps Man... The wisdom remains within the Elephant because Nature cannot be trumped by Man's ignorance...

OK, I'll pitch in with my favorite line: "I'm busy here with too much sun and sky and not enough water for my baby." Great piece.

wonderful story!

a whale of a tale. Lot's of great material, I hope you work with it more.