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Goals for tonight:
fly from rocky cliffs
swim with otters
simplify the tax code
engage in a trite oneuppance
with a drunk cummings
sleep it off
and dream
To do:
plumb the more modern lines
do something Zen
use Zen as an adverb
catch my neighbor's eye
as he does laundry
hang mine in surrender
hear it flap in the breeze. It's so nice
to be under something else's power
and let it be like sailing,
which I've never done
and dream
does it rock so —
or so?
Sew a blanket with sleeves
make a million bucks
shear a sheep — shear anything!
And sell the wool for a trout.
Make breakfast.
Done.
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Author's Note
As stream of consciousness as I get. It's a bedtime poem, previously published at the short-lived but much-beloved Ramshackle Review.
Other stories by Sara Fitzpatrick Comito
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The lost chapter of Trout Fishing in America. Love it.
I'm embarrassed to admit I've never read it! I've made it a priority on the list. Thank you for reading, James.
nicely written!***
I like this.
Strong edge to sound and image here. The piece moves so well - in its own way, spirals to Done. That lone line/word is a great closing. *
I love this voice. It's grounded but playful. The form works very well... There. You might think I know something about poetry... if I do, you've just heard it. Still I trust myself to say that this is strong writing and I enjoyed reading it.
Excellent work here, Sara. Agree with JLD, Brautigan comes to mind.
*
Yum! *
Beautiful work, especially, for me:
catch my neighbor's eye/
as he does laundry/
hang mine in surrender
Love this. "a trite oneuppance
with a drunk cummings"*
This was very nice to open my laptop to. Thank you all for your kind comments and support.
Terrific. *
Sara-- So nice! *
Thank you!
Terrifically bizarre!
Really nice lines, Sara. *
Especially "swimming with otters." *
Definitely see some Brautigan in this, whether you knew of Trout Fishing or not, Sara! Enjoyed.
Nice of you all to stop by! Beate, the flying from rocky cliffs and swimming with otters were part of an actual dream. The poem fell in place around it.
Should certainly work up an appetite. Fave*
"fly from rocky cliffs
swim with otters
simplify the tax code
engage in a trite oneuppance
with a drunk cummings"
Like this very much.
Aw, what a lovely poem. What a mood it catches, what imagination. And the final line is adorable.
Such nice people. I want to live in Fictionaut.
I really like this. Great work.*
I am in complete awe of this. Will print this out and will hang it near my desk. Wonderful.
"hang mine in surrender"
amazing line. all it means.
John, thanks for reading and your nice comment. Bud, I am completely awed that you would print this out.
Charming. A Zen animal lover. Love it.
Aw thanks, Lucinda.