In tidal relief
elixir of desiccation, seawater
frays the thin layers of lips offered prostrate to a jealous sun
like jellyfish spoiled to a soup on hot jetties
peeled off indelicately, raining down
as powdered glass out of quarreling beaks
the world slips under the waves
we ignore the loss: our green pedestal darkens
and the horizon curves dizzyingly
for our floating
berating as the fence
quakes with native urchins who scatter
in the practiced nightstick wave
let the sand cram no more infant folds,
crown my flimsy land-ankles in vagrant algae
grasp my knees with tendrils
bear up my webbings and lick my hollow ears
fill my caverns and make me
a tomb of fishes
frays the thin layers of lips offered prostrate to a jealous sun
like jellyfish spoiled to a soup on hot jetties
peeled off indelicately, raining down
as powdered glass out of quarreling beaks
the world slips under the waves
we ignore the loss: our green pedestal darkens
and the horizon curves dizzyingly
for our floating
berating as the fence
quakes with native urchins who scatter
in the practiced nightstick wave
let the sand cram no more infant folds,
crown my flimsy land-ankles in vagrant algae
grasp my knees with tendrils
bear up my webbings and lick my hollow ears
fill my caverns and make me
a tomb of fishes
|
11
favs |
1218 views
13 comments |
100 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
This was in DOGZPLOT's poetry issue. Editor Peter Schwartz helped me edit it. I am grateful to him!
Other stories by Sara Fitzpatrick Comito
Tags
Groups
-
10+ Favs
Public group136 members
Comments
You must
log in
to post comments.
a tomb of fishes
What a rush*
This is interesting and intense and wonderful* Thanks for sharing it.
Every time I read this I find one more remarkable phrase.Big like!
***
Such wonderful lines!
"the world slips under the waves"
"the fence
quakes with native urchins"
"make me
a tomb of fishes"
Gary, Gary, Jen, Carol, Tara and Bill - thanks so much for reading and commenting!
Intensely realized lines/images/metaphors. Especially liked:
"like jellyfish spoiled to a soup on hot jetties"
"the world slips under the waves/we ignore the loss"
Fine work, all.
Vivid, inventive language.*
Good poem let down by the title. Tidal Relief would be better, without the In.
Ed, Amanda and Samuel, thanks for the read and your encouragement.
Samuel, I will think on that. Thank you. I think perhaps I was going for a wordplay on the phrase "In stark relief." But I was also inspired by the concept of intaglio printmaking, creating by sunken images. And removing the preposition could still serve that way. All the while "relief" being meant in the sense of being relieved of a burden. Hmmm, I will think on it!
"let the sand cram no more infant folds" - that line alone will haunt me for hours, genius!
loulou I hope you enjoy the haunting, even if it is gritty!