Lay on Me

wow

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Fave!

Ooh, so goooOod. Fave, u could consider removing William and And from the second stanza but its your call.
I like the way it drips with sensuality with no overtly sensuous words.

nice. i agree that william is someone to think about here but maybe that's an aspect of the point.

loved this, jules. more dangerous crouching, more dark literary poetry, please.

Ummmm....
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Billy and Jack are just fine where they are. Your poem. Your references. I do agree with Roberto on the fact that insinuation here is the thing that makes it sing.

Black Velvet, if you please.

Silky and smooth, like single malt. Very nice. *

get on with yr bad self, girl! no sentimentality here, that's for sure. *

loved this. great work!

love this *

Love the flavor of this, short simple, strong language, lack of sentimentality like julie said, just great.

I like James' comment. It insinuates and it sings. Great song, Jules. *

jules - ! - * Q

nice. and i second jack's seconding of james.

Quite strong!

Great poem. I especially love these lines-

"I'll repeat October
Just for a taste
Of what you won't give"

Wow!

Deep, multi-layered, thought provoking: which I like.

'On Friday nights I'm not there.'

Sizzling! Sinister. Seductive. Now I know why your favourite letter in the alphabet is 'S'. Star.

Good poem.

Dammit Jules, this is fantastic work! I'm all sweaty palms now. I've been knocked to my scuffed little knees!

Quite a good poem! Really great writing. *

I keep reading this poem over and over and over and it sings differently each time. Mysterious and alluring.

Jules this is a treasure of a poem. Kudos.

Just re-read. I'd give this another star if I could, Jules. Wonderful.

Jules, man that pulled me under in into itself. *

Took my breath away! I agree that it's the insinuation that makes it work so well. By leaving so much to the imagination your words really electrify.

just read this aloud -- oh my. *

Seems so effortless and yet goes so deep and so far in its reach.So so very good.

I've now read this a bunch of times, and each time I find my mind emphasizes something different, pulls at certain of the images, and the constant effect is this great kaleidoscope of meaning and imagery. Super well done!! *

Oh, and read the Author's Note - my take, this isn't sentimental, not really, not at all, but heartfelt without any treacle!

I’m really fond of this piece, Jules! You say very cool things here.

The center stanza - the taste, the repetition, what's not given - makes the whole piece come alive for me. A powerful piece, Jules. Big like.

strong. admirable.

Sweet. Good ride, Jules.