A Forest
by John Riley
Her awake dreams were chains of gold and diamonds, thick cypresses and roses that showered down on her. Her sleep dreams were full of the cold passion a fox feels for the hen. They buzzed like millions of flies. Inside her sleep dreams she was a pilgrim who had lost direction. Everything mattered and nothing was childish. She woke mornings with no will to live a bold life. Her awake dreams murmured like a new child. She rode through sleepless nights like an egg on a velvet spoon and at first light rolled out of bed convinced life was worth living.
She wore lime fingernail polish, blue on her toes, and her father was dying of liver disease in a room with dust on the windows. The arrangements for his care had been haphazard. He was a proud man, and sly, and thought strongly he should die in his house. A nurse checked in but he was often alone. When the pain rolled across his face she tried to stand straight but always ended up turning away. She hated his pain so much sometimes she hated him. Shakespearean bile clumped in her throat.
She could tell him about her night dreams but when she tried to tell him about her awake dreams the words twisted into lies. Telling him the truth was out of her reach. She stacked up the images in her mind and tried to play them straight but they tilted like a gambler's luck. She wanted him to know about her awake dreams. If that door was opened his death wouldn't leave her fragmented.
In the final days his skin was the color of bananas. His torso had shriveled. The sheets on the bed were yellowish too and she thought he was fading away. She could hold his hand and thought that was encouraging even if it made blood pump through her wrist.
On his last night she made one more effort. She hadn't been sleeping. Her mind was full of fresh air and swung like a bee over clover. She held his hand in one of hers and with the other rubbed his cold ear. That's where the passage way is she thought and aimed her words there directly. But with a blast the lies rushed to the front. Her whispers came out as buzzes. Scampered into his ear like bugs. Truth was too far in the rear she realized, and instead of telling him about roses and rides and soft, dark trees her words twisted and writhed until everything she said wiggled into “I love you, Daddy.”
Love the alternating wake dreams and sleep dreams and the father's dying and how everything writhed and twisted into the ending. Poetic and powerful in details. My favorite line: "She wore lime fingernail polish, blue on her toes, and her father was dying of liver disease in a room with dust on the windows"
Fav
O my, this is powerful and rare. *
An excerpt? It would have to be this entire piece. Do I have words about it? No. They could not begin to describe this magical, ineffable structure built of mental and medical and emotive pictures. Symbols and raw truth, wrapped in luminous writing. Thank you, John!
I really like the way you weave the natural world into this story, as well as the nod to Shakespeare.
Wow. A very potent story in exemplary prose.
Good, John, good.
Some of your best John. Really good.*
Beautiful, terrifying, just like being caught in the dark forest. And the murmuring of an imminent new reality in the awake dreams, that is wonderful.
poetic and layered and textured and more.
great work.
Excellent work. Love this line:
"She wore lime fingernail polish, blue on her toes, and her father was dying of liver disease in a room with dust on the windows."
marvelous.***
Took my breath away, starting with "awake dreams". Never thought of them that way, and have not liked "daydreams", as that suggests sloth. But on and on, one striking visual after another. The ending left me slack-jawed. *
Thanks, everyone for your nice comments. They mean much to me.
A high wire piece of prose and you make it all the way across with panache.
Excellent portrayal of an ambivalent father-daughter relationship at the end of life. The dream material is evocative. Fave*
Made me slow down and relish the language. Always a good sign. *Fave.
John, John. Man, this story is told with some gorgeous writing.
"Telling him the truth was out of her reach."
Fave!
Thanks, David and Gloria and Gintas and David. It's cool you enjoyed it. Thanks.
Everyone else already stole all of the superlatives, John.*
"She held his hand in one of hers and with the other rubbed his cold ear. That's where the passage way is she thought and aimed her words there directly. But with a blast the lies rushed to the front. Her whispers came out as buzzes."
Strong writing. Such a fine piece. A wonderful read. *
Thanks, Joani and Sam. I'm delighted you like it.
Very sad and very...true.*
gorgeously descriptive.
Super good writing, John. So rich. *
Ah, you know how much I like this one. Congratulations!
rich, luxurious and decaying in beautiful ways.
Your similes are outrageous! Love this, for the emotion it brings out of the reader. So well done, John.
Very moving story. I like to read aloud when I read poetry and flash fiction. I like the way language feels on my tongue. By the time I got to the end of this piece, my tongue was halting, gripped with emotion, even before my analytical mind had grasped the emotion.
Well done.
Thanks, everyone. Your comments honor me.
This is magnificent, John. I feel as though you were eavesdropping on my soul. *
This line seemed so right, at least from my experience:
"In the final days his skin was the color of bananas. His torso had shriveled. The sheets on the bed were yellowish too and she thought he was fading away."
How beautiful and sad. The idea that our words can be so lacking, yet so charged with meaning. *This piece has a lot of heart. Thank you for sharing it here.
Gorgeous writing as always, John - just beautifully layered work.
so strong.
Thank you, Beate & Steven & Jen & Lori & Meg. It thrills me that you like it.
This is simply beautiful. That's it. xxoononnie
Excellent details and contrasts. I just started a Death and Dying group. You can move it to there if you wish.
Talk about strong work...*