by John Riley
There's a story of you who says to go on, to walk the room, to pretend to contemplate. Promises that if you lift your hand your head will follow. Assures you when your bones reignite there will be day, there will be night, and you'll know which is which. Don't worry about the door, this story says.
There's a story of you who says big things wait outside the door. Let me give you a taste, this story says, and lures a city into the vestibule. Streets spread throughout the house. Get on your knees, he says. Crawl the city limits. Don't worry, you'll be welcomed. It's night in the city. All the streets end at a wall. A harbor laps the door.
There's a story of you who says he wishes you weren't here. There is nothing left to regret, he says. It's time to leave the false starts behind. He introduces you to his plans, refuses to negotiate, walks you down the hall. At the door he shakes his head before you can beg, slips an arm around your shoulders. We both need a new direction, this story says. Walking out the door you tell him he's the story of you that you like best.
There's a story of you who says to go on,
to walk the room, to pretend to contemplate.
Promises that if you lift your hand your head
will follow. Assures you when your bones reignite
there will be day, there will be night,
and you'll know which is which.
Don't worry about the door, this story says.
There's a story of you who says big things
wait outside the door. Let me give you a taste,
this story says, and lures a city into the vestibule.
Streets spread throughout the house.
Get on your knees, he says. Crawl the city limits.
Don't worry, you'll be welcomed. It's night in the city.
All the streets end at a wall. A harbor laps the door.
There's a story of you who says he wishes you weren't here.
Nothing is left to regret, he says. It's time to leave
the false starts behind. He introduces you to his plans,
refuses to negotiate, walks you down the hall. At the door
he shakes his head before you can beg, slips an arm
around your shoulders. We both need a new direction,
this story says. Walking out the door you tell him
he's the story of you that you like best.
19
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2159 views
37 comments |
428 words
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Appeared week 52 of the 52/250 project. The theme was "Threesome."
Thanks Michelle, Walter and John.
I want immediately to say, "Wow," but that would be so immature.
Wow. Fave
Well, this is just marvelous. My year must have ended before theirs because I missed it. Lovely, twilit piece. Fave, too.
Thanks, guys. You've made my day.
Amazing. Subtle and magnificent! Enjoyed.
I read this three times, then four. Enthralling. I have this need to know it better, so I keep reading. *
I need this piece in the same way I need an excellent meal, a warm fire or an over-sized dog who proffers
unconditional love. Wow! ****
Jill, Kari, MaryAnne, thank you so much. I'm honored.
Good work. For some reason, my favorite line/image is "A harbo laps the door." Nice. Welcome to Fictionaut, John!
Thanks, Kathy. And thanks for the welcome.
Each paragraph builds to such a strong finish. Well done.*
Thanks, JP. Thrilled you like it.
Nice work. I remember this piece. Good form.
I loved this piece at 52/250 when I read it there, and loved it even more here, on the second and third, and fourth read!
Great work. Congratulations!
Fave.
Thank you, Sam and Robert
Very good piece.
Good choice of verbs: lift, lures, laps, beg...
Also:
"when your bones reignite there will be day"
*
Thanks, Bill for reading and commenting. I'm very glad you like it.
I missed it first time so am thrilled you posted it here. Terrific piece, John. You ARE making this a better place. *
Thanks, Andrew.
Love the poetry and irony in this, magnificent use of language. Great piece.
love this. so meta. i like it when a story leaves so much room for imagination. "Crawl the city limits. Don't worry, you'll be welcomed. It's night in the city. All the streets end at a wall. A harbor laps the door." is gorgeous. beams me right under milk wood, ardderchog!
Thank, David and Marcus. I'm delighted you like it. It means a lot!
So intricate and covers the endless of surely even more than triple complexity of emotion accompanying one step. *
Thanks, Beate, for you comment and kind words.
Love the whole thing. The middle paragraph knocked me sideways.*
Thanks, Jen!
I really needed to read this this morning. It is a wonderful piece. Beautifully written and deeply felt *
Tanks, Bobbi. Glad it arrived when you needed it.
how have i missed your stuff? this is great writing.
Thank you, James. That's encouraging.
brilliant!*
I was totally confused by this until the last line, when it suddenly made sense. Nicely done.
Point of view (P.O.V. of war) is phenomenally demonstrated here. *
Thanks, Ann.
Very cool!
Thanks, Darryl
Terrific. Lovely form and development.
Superb, sparkling writing! Fav.