by Jack Swenson
When I get home from school, I open the windows and air out the house. It has been hot all week. I take off my shirt and shorts and walk around in my bra and bikini panties.
I sit on the couch in the den and watch TV and eat leftovers for supper. Then I call Jake and ask him what he's doing. Grading papers, he says. I tell him my parents and my little sister are gone, and ask him to come over and go swimming.
"Sounds good," he says. I tell him to bring something to drink.
When he gets there, we sit on the couch and drink beer and talk. I lean my head on his shoulder, and he puts his arm around me.
Later I take his hand, and I lead him up the stairs. I want to show him something, I say. I open the door to my bedroom and turn on the lights. My bedroom looks the same as it did when I was five. It is all pink and frilly. There are toy animals on the bed and a Raggedy Ann doll in a tiny rocking chair.
I let him fuck me on my bed. Afterwards I tell him I always wanted to do that.
Then we go into the back yard and go swimming in our pool. The water is lukewarm. We sit naked on the edge of the pool at the deep end and look up at the stars. The sky is black, and the stars look like bits of broken glass.
We hold hands. I lean my head on his shoulder. He kisses my wet hair, and he says that maybe when I grow up, he will ask me to marry him. I tell him I'm already grown up. He laughs. "You certainly are," he says.
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This story will appear in Naughty, Naughty along with some really, really good poetry & fiction by Meg Pokrass.
Combined writing by you and Miss Meg will guarantee NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY a place on the Best Seller List, Jack. Extracurricular is not all pink and frilly.
Nice voice, Jack. The language is at home in itself. Works well.
Is someone besides me plussed by cross-gender narration? Here, it seems natural. I still don't know why "cross gender," but I suppose, the other question is "why not?" That aside, it's sweet.
I'm soliciting for your publisher behind the scenes. Watch me.
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Ramon, Sam, Ann -- Thank you for the kudos. I do very few stories with a female narrator, but this one seemed right.
Ann, you can solicit for Balder Press anytime; you are aces. But I fear you have found us out. Surely a Minnesotan like you knows "why Balder?"
Mm. Sweetly hot, like paprika, the good stuff from Hungary. You do girl good. peace...
I likey... oh I likey so much.
Yay! Another good one from you. Simple but just good.
Linda, Meg, Jules: Hmm. You like it? I thought it was maybe too naughty. Thanks!
all voice and tone here: spot-on.
Jack, this one really grabbed me by surprise, but you pulled it off--
there is the "Jack Swenson imprint" but I believed her voice, and that is what counts. For me, voice is paramount in story
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Great one, Jack. Nice job using the female narration while also style retaining that excellent “Jack Swenson” style (like the "Jack Swenson imprint" Susan suggests) that makes your stories such a joy to read.
Very real and concise scene that tells a story beneath its surface. Nicely done, Jack, as always.
Sara, Christian, Susan T., Susan G. A Who's Who of the lit. world, and they like my story! Think I've died and gone to the good place!
can't think of a proper response, but I liked it.
"Then we go into the back yard and go swimming in our pool. The water is lukewarm. We sit naked on the edge of the pool at the deep end and look up at the stars. The sky is black, and the stars look like bits of broken glass."
Very nice!
I loved this from the moment it began--and this is rare! The lumbering pace, the jaded sensibility, the humorous ending, wonderful.
The title is a winner.
Estelle, Bill, Isabell. Well, I liked & loved your comments. Very nice. Thanks!
This is great, Jack. Fav.
I like that the girl is jaded beyond her years and perhaps less innocent than the teacher, and you don't know whether this affair or something else is the cause.
fave to a fave.
Mark, Jo, Julie. Thanks a bunch. It felt weird to write from the girl's pov. I'm glad you think it turned out all right.
I really liked this one, Jack. Such a simple little tale, but not so simple.
Another good one. A perfect fit to "Naughty, Naughty."