Gay Paree
by Jake Barnes
I had a crappy room on the fourth floor of a crappy hotel. The doorway lacked several inches of a doorway's usual height, and from time to time I would bang my head. I never learned.
I tried and tried to get you to share my bed with me, but you refused. You wouldn't let me stay overnight at your place, either. And yet I kept coming back for more.
Perhaps you had this crazy idea that if you played No, No, Nannette with me it would increase your mystery and therefore my desire for you. I don't think that was it.
Then you gave up your prize without a fight in a wheat field outside of a walled city in southern Germany. And that evening you played Mary and I played Joseph. There was no room in the inn.
We slept in the car that I had picked up in Wolfsburg, and in the morning I crawled out of the cramped interior and stretched. I looked up at the sky and a single star guiding us to someplace in an unknown future. A place with bright lights and dark shadows.
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Author's Note
The story of my life.
Very nice, Jake. A perfect ending for this piece.
Good story. Reads very well.
Very funny: no, no nanette meets manger in Germany. *
The more it tells, the more it hides. Extremely evocative.
*
The language is so direct here, yet I fill in so much on my own. I know that hotel. If it's not the door that's too short, it's a set of steps too narrow, or something that sticks, or some that won't close or something with an odd cheesy smell. I know the woman, the girl too, or someone like her, and I've been the guy, the man. Good stuff.
It's a good story, anyway, interesting and complicated. I like that in a story.*
I like the voice. If it is indeed the story of your life, then it sounds like a good life. *
Interesting story, Jake. Thanks for posting.
A love story! An honest to God love story in a few paragraphs. You brought me along and I was happy by the end.
such a nice story, especially at this time. Bright lites, so appropriate
I love this. The second person POV works well with your style.
Works very nicely and rings true.