by Jack Swenson
We sit at a table with a tablecloth so white it hurts my eyes. She isn't drinking; she has to go back to work.
Sometimes when I am tense or excited my foot jiggles. She sighs. She tells me that my tic is giving her a hard time.
She decides to have a Rob Roy. I drink Diet Coke. “No more drinking?” she asks. “Never, ever?”
I nod and raise my glass. “Here's looking at you, kid,” I say.
I sit there thinking about the common room at Murphy's. Sitting there in my bathrobe. Staring at the dirty carpet. Seeing spiders. Big ones. Big, hairy spiders. Crawling towards my slippers.
She wants to know if I've seen Janet since I got back. I tell her no. “I don't believe you,” she says. I lean forward and take her two hands in mine. I look into her eyes. “It's you and only you,” I say. She starts to cry.
I hand her a handkerchief and tell her about the guest speaker at the rehab. A woman. She fell asleep smoking a cigarette and burned down the house. Her two kids died in the fire.
My friend is looking at herself in a small mirror she had in her purse, dabbing at her eyes.
“How could you live with that?” I ask. She shakes her head.
We leave the restaurant together. Her car is in the lot; mine is across the street. She turns left out of the parking lot and honks the horn and waves as she passes by. I look back to make sure there are no approaching cars, then pull out and make a screeching U turn in the middle of the street.
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In which the protagonist is just tying up some loose ends after a trip to the snake farm.
Hmmm...
Moving to or from?
Hmmm...
(I guess everything action is a "to or from"
the real question being what target?)
"How could you live with that?"
Great question.
this brings back a similar memory for me, only it wasn't children, it was a dog.
the lady I knew, talks about it till this day.
Great story...really draws you in, Jack. I could read a lot more...
Oh boy...this breaks my heart. He is helpless, hopeless. That U turn is a deft stroke, Jack. *
Nice work, Jack. I like it.
Great scene, Jack. As always, I dig the tightly written approach, so well done. *
It was the detail of his car being parked across the street that just killed me, Jack. You packed such space already in this intimate story, and then this: it cements the distance between them. Sorrowful and so well done. So fun to be back at Fn! Thanks for making this a good day!
*
How could you live with that? The memory of the common room is tough enough... *
Great. Really great. The silences give this its reverberant substance.
Powerhouse work again, Jack. Love the ending.
So strong throughout, Jack. Loved all the details, very effective.
Several nice U turns in this, Jack!
She isn't drinking... she decides to have a Rob Roy.
No more drinking, never ever... he pulls out and makes a screeching U turn.
"It's you and only you," I say... "My friend is looking at herself ..."
U turns abound. The truth is muddy. Ah, but you are a master of this form!
The intimacy here is great,so is the dialogue.
my kind of tale. *
Read this in the book, and now again and it hasn't lost an ounce of impact. How do you make it seem so simple? You are the Carver for our times...