I am the most death-filled person I know, which makes me an ideal political operative. I can say no without looking back; saying yes makes me cramp up. My first wife said I had a rictus smile.
As Senior Aide to the City Manager of New Persia, Pennsylvania, I pledge to attend any and all funeral events. Also, I will give speeches to unpopular constituencies, such as the Sons of Confederate Bastards or the Association of Small Hardware Purchase Agents. I have three excellent suits, and I have no fear of small aircraft travel.
I loved my Dad. He was executed in 1967. He was guilty.
Currently I am married to my second wife, and we have two indistinguishable adolescent sons. They are possessed of jackal lust and hunger, and we plan to send them away for secondary school. They are eager to go.
I am screwing my assistant, Helen, whose seventeen-year-old daughter is unbalanced enough to have a "thing" for me, but even if she didn't, I would still break it off by May as I have come to the conclusion that screwing people's mothers is no longer practical. People's mothers have grown savvy in these Lifetime-channel years and are no longer the needy pushovers they once were.
Murderers' kids are put up for adoption, their records sealed. I learned that social workers refer to us as 'Charlie's kids,' after Charles Manson. All the kids from the Manson family, from the Spahn ranch, they were adopted out. Raised by unsuspecting strangers.
My next affair will be with a younger woman, not because I need firmer flesh, but because I need a place to park. I WILL NOT go after Helen's idiot daughter, Daisy. I will not do this. She is too full of life, even if she worships death and fantasizes about suicide.
Philly's dead now too. You don't want to know.
The daughter, the one I'm thinking of, she looks like a hooker clown. Black vinyl boots, shock red hair, grossly colored polyester shirts and skirts stretched over her hormone-pumped body. Militant and plump. Helen's other daughter, the prom queen, she gives it up to any nice boy who asks politely or any mean boy who grabs at it. She's a much better choice, but I don't believe she cares for me.
I look like hell. And not just today, I always do. Gray skin, pockmarked cheeks. Long, bony nose. I'm scrawny, bent like a beat-up umbrella. I've never worn shorts in my life. I still get lucky though. Women are dumb. Always thinking that they can put color in my cheek, a smile on my thin lips. Always thinking I can be soothed by blessed salvation pussy.
Nice thought, dumb thought. As I've grown older--and colder--I've become irresistible.
Something wrong with Daisy. For all her drama and Halloween talk, she's so weak. The slightest disappointment freezes her face.
Dad's Monte Carlo was a blue shark swimming through starlight.
There will be expensive therapy, certainly drug treatment. There will be controversy over whether she is bipolar or mildly schizophrenic, resulting in years of under and over medication. Maybe even hospitalization. She will never get completely healthy, just older, more tired, less intense. At some point she will turn to God. Some years later, she'll turn away again.
There are no innocents, only incompetents.
Maybe by age 40 her meds will stabilize, and she'll have that watery shake in her gaze that says she is "rehabilitated."
I can just see her bleeding out in a bathtub in the hotel room. Maybe only a year from now.
This possible future is the only flaw in our plan, sir. Otherwise you will find that I am an excellent counsel, clever and fearless, your wingman.
The beams from other cars washed past in the night, and it was magical. My brother fell asleep as soon as we'd hit the highway proper. Yellow kitchens, yellow kitchen lights in the fast black night. "We're going for a ride," my old man said, and we piled into the car, still in pajamas. We didn't ask any questions. It was Dad. And it was great.
This is my only secret from the past. That I loved my father, and death doesn't bother me as much as it should.
The future is something else. But there's no reason we can't prepare.
At your will.
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This was in Identity Theory in 2003. I imagined Richard Schiff as the narrator. You should too.
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How can someone with such a cute dog write such a spooky story? "At your will" Probably being the most spooky line of all. Enjoyed.
Thoroughly brilliant story. I'm envious. Well done.
Dark worldly vicious voice. This prose knows many things about the violent world:
"They are possessed of jackal lust and hunger, and we plan to send them away for secondary school. They are eager to go."
"Maybe by age 40 her meds will stabilize, and she'll have that watery shake in her gaze that says she is 'rehabilitated.'"
"Yellow kitchens, yellow kitchen lights in the fast black night."
i automatically like any story with a pennsylvania reference.
"I'm scrawny, bent like a beat-up umbrella...Women are dumb...Always thinking I can be soothed by blessed salvation pussy."
great lines like these help too.
"I am the most death-filled person I know, which makes me an ideal political operative. I can say no without looking back; saying yes makes me cramp up. My first wife said I had a rictus smile."
"They are possessed of jackal lust and hunger, and we plan to send them away for secondary school. They are eager to go."
"This is my only secret from the past. That I loved my father, and death doesn't bother me as much as it should. The future is something else. But there's no reason we can't prepare. At your will."
1-800-STUNNING!!!!!
Laura, this is an absolutely gorgeous and chilling piece. Congrats on getting that voice so lethally persuasive. Wow. What a weird experience to be in that narrator's head. And totally believable. Way to go.
man, very rotty. impressive stuff.
you all are awesome. I just got a particularly painful rejection after 5 weeks of back and forth (from an agent who "loves my writing" but the book doesn't "gell"). thanks for the attention, i feel kinda better now.
I already know I'm going to come back and read this again a few times, because there's so much to savor.
Laura, the depression in this piece is much more in-your-face than anything else I've read by you. But it's as if it's only depressing for us, the readers. This guy doesn't care about death or his pathetic, skirt-chasing lifestyle. All he cares about is being efficient. In work and in play. (See: "break it off by May.")
The efficiency that he exudes makes one look at the details in the piece, and there are some surprisingly fun moments (the rhyming of Philly & death-filled springs to mind).
I think my favorite part is the multiple futures painted for Daisy. Two paragraphs, back-to-back. One, she achieves the sad medicated stabilization at age 40. Two, she bleeds out at the age of 18. Neither future bothers this man. He doesn't judge. He just analyzes. Prepares.
Jesusgod. Could you keep this going? These balls in the air? I'm ready for more about the father and the mother to be cut into the job, the girlfriend, the strangers, the domestic life now, to see him when he has to say yes. The diction's so different when he's remembering the car v. when he's being officious, or imagining Daisy. The tonal changes give me the creeps. (That's good.) Small thing, but I like ending on "That I loved my father." Especially if you keep going with the story.
ooo pia, THAT is a fascinating suggestion. I don't know if I could keep it going--I don't remember writing it. just found it in my fragment folder one day. but still--
erin , thanks heaps. sam, always happy to bum you out.
What writing, what a read! This narrator is superbly crafted. One who, although given to horrific thoughts and proclivities, ultimately earns our sympathy--no easy feat. Brava!
pretty awesome, yeah. happy to jump on the bandwagon here.
laura -- this is creepy and wonderful. i love how it begins with the self-introduction. he knows he's messed up but he also seems to think it makes him superior. he acknowledges his ugliness, but notes how women love him. this is his only secret and his brother, the only one who knows anything of it, is dead and we're told we don't want to know. sinister. i DO want to know. amazing story.
Thrilling stuff. Fantastic use of first person narration to showcase so many whiplash lines. One to read and read again.
A great read, LE.
Some amazing phrases that ring and toll in the mind long afterwards...'blessed salvation pussy', 'there are no innocents, only incompetents;, and 'i own three excellent suits and have no fear of small aircraft travel.'
A great read, LE.
Some amazing phrases that ring and toll in the mind long afterwards...'blessed salvation pussy', 'there are no innocents, only incompetents;, and 'i own three excellent suits and have no fear of small aircraft travel.'
Laura, I loved this. It's perfect in fact.
I find all I've been able to do with this is favorite it, reread it, and rub my hands together. I love this narrator.
WOW. WOW. Fearless writing. And so haunting, so sad. That image of the little boys in the back of their father's car, their mother in the trunk. Crushing!!
Love it! Great story.
katrina, christina, david, scott, lauren, ethel, elaine and frank. I'm making you all zucchini bread.
one more z bread for nick
That first graf is about perfect, from where I sit. So evocative without having to "dig" into it, so creepy in its POV. I like the direct address as well, adds to its chilling voice.
LE, nice to see Bausch didn't manage to beat the experimental out of you. This is damn fine work.
Piers, I think of that workshop fondly--you got roughed up, too. These days it's a "you shoulda seen the other guy" scenario.
um, the zucchini bread is only pretend.
I'll second the "here here's." I love how your narrator simply puts lines out there--"He was guilty." "I am screwing my asst." "I look like hell." He doesn't shy away from saying difficult things, and that's what, to me, makes this piece so powerful feeling.
I love this voice. Love "indistinguishable sons" and "bent like a beat-up umbrella"...very strong, dark stuff here.
jon, kathy--Thanks so much. it has been a neat week here at the f'naut.
I love difficult people that are well-written. This is excellent.
Just watched a bit of Rushmore last night and Murray's two kids reminded me a lot of the kids here --- "They are possessed of jackal lust and hunger, and we plan to send them away for secondary school. They are eager to go." This is a great story.
ooo, good eye, that's where I nicked them. I'd forgotten about that. I steal a lot from wes anderson, figuring movie people don't read.
Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone.
A great story! Great sense of chilling tension throughout and a clear command of the voice. Where's this one going?
Yow! That is one sharp, dark, powerful story.
Rictus smile. I love it. Blessed salvation pussy. Yellow kitchens, yellow kitchen lights in the fast black night. How do you get the sinister and the innocent both so perfectly? Wow.