by Kathy Fish
My brother's friend, Del, said, hey little girl, wanna Tootsie Roll? I asked him if there was anything he could do to make my Slurpee taste better and he poured a healthy dose of vodka in. That summer it was Vodka Slurpees, Vodka Mountain Dews, Vodka Lemonades. Dad had gotten custody of us which meant we were pretty much left to our own devices. Del and I watched my brother toe his way to the edge of the cottonwood branch that arched over the reservoir. My brother, meaning to dive, and Del questioning the depth of the water. It had been quite bright with the moon but now thunderclouds roiled and gyred above us and my brother was something you could only see if you didn't look directly at him. I was 14 but could pass for 16 if I wore makeup, which I did. That night, I'd decided if Del put his tongue in my mouth, I'd let him. Far off, we saw a lightning strike and Del yelled up, you still there buddy? We thought maybe he'd changed his mind, was coming back down, when we saw his baseball cap copter to the ground. You don't want to get that wet, Del laughed and picked it up, put it on his own prematurely balding head. A car pulled up and a bunch of boys tumbled out, staggered to where we were. I was wearing my honeydew colored bikini but that night it looked gray like everything else. You could only really see white teeth, bluish arms and legs. My brother called, who's there? They were boys he knew, older boys, who yelled jump, jump you sonofabitch. I remember the crack of the branch and Del, dragging him out of the water, pounding him on the chest and then the ambulance. I remember how relieved we were, later, to hear it was only a concussion and Del had been crazily, comically trying to administer CPR to a boy who didn't need it. And my brother lying on the couch for days, how he became now, not even sullen, just a quiet fellow who liked to stay inside, who sometimes stared at his hands and asked why'd it hurt so much?
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Originally published in Slice Magazine.
Happy to be the first to fave this gem. Best line ever: "my brother was something you could only see if you didn't look directly at him"
*.
wanting more!
Thanks, Marcelle & Jerry! I'm trying to get back into the Fictionaut groove here. I've missed it and all of you!
Wow. The honeydewed colored bikini turning gray is just so right. (I once watched a guy dive into a creek from a broken tree branch and almost die.) Powerful story. *
Amazing density.
A masterful hand with imagery and form. Good, good piece.
Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end... Like Jerry, I didn't want this to end. *****
Thanks, John, Gary, Sam, and Matthew, for the read and kind words. Matthew, now that song is stuck in my head, but I like that song so it's ok. ; )
Love the descriptions and the textures which give this a kind of mystery all its own.
Puzzling in the best ways.*
Kyle and Amanda, thank you so much.
If anyone is qualified to teach flash fiction, it's you.
( just read your bio :) )
This is great. ****
atmospheric crackling all around this *
WOW! why'd it hurt so much. Killer. *
Pitch perfect. I admire this so much.
Luminous writing. You never disappoint, Kathy. *
Thank you, Tara, Jane, Cheryl, Loren, and Charlotte, for the read and kind comments!
Thanks so much, Carol! I'm very excited about the teaching opportunity. And thanks for reading this!
Edgy, teetering right at that place where teenagers struggle to find out who and what they might become. Loved it.*
All of a sudden, again, we know "why fictionaut ?" This is why, yours and Jane's piece on the same page. I loved this.
Oh thanks so much for the kind comments, Gary and David. I really appreciate it.
Brilliant through two reads, one all new and startling, one still new and startling. *
This is so rewarding to read.*
Thank you, Ann and Paul!
*. A fine story, well-written. 'I'm glad you saved her brother's life at the end.
Thanks, David!
The brother's quiet, understated transitions ended it perfectly.
Thanks, Oliver!
Kathy Fish is back? I didn't get the memo. I'd have been here so much sooner. LOVE this short gem, and love you! Fave.
Thank you, sir. And hi! It's good to see you here, too, Robert!
I love every line, and I love the way it makes me feel...and I hate the way it makes me feel ***
Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Foster!
Rich language, fine detail, great story.
Thanks for this, too, James!
Feel like this one might drop off the page soon, so I wanted to thank you all for the generous response to this story. Means a lot to me.
Awesome final image. *
Thanks so much, Beate!
I haven't been a good Fn boy lately and this my first Micro in months -- such writing, already!
I went, immediately, to The Lit Pub and bought your book; the Supreme Writer Compliment, these days.
(expect your classroom to full of apples)
Hi Ramon! It's good to see you here. I haven't been around here in a long, long time. Thanks for reading and for buying my book! That means a lot to me. Hope you enjoy it. Happy New Year!
Nicely done.
Thanks for reading, Roz!
Great story.
Thank you, Carly!