by Doug Bond
Totsie Doyle said “Fiddle Faddle…That's what you need.” Then she said it again raising her finger to her lips, a signal for me to keep quiet. “Fiddle Faddle!”
While she was in the kitchen I tried to sneak a sip of her tea, but it was much too hot, steam blooming above the gold rimmed cup, and it burned my lips and brought water to my eyes.
As I tongued the last ice cube out of my water glass, Totsie came back in and told me she must have eaten the last of the Faddle last night.
I didn't dare ask, but did anyway, “Do you have any Ferrero Rocher?”
She cut me off sharp before I could get it out of my mouth. “Don't ever ask that again!”
Her face was serious, but not her eyes. “I'm heating you up the last of the Leprechaun Pudding. You'll have that.”
She gave me a fork and said the best way to get ready for dessert is to suck on the fork. She'd dipped it in clover honey. “Just slip it in and lick it.”
In the bowl the pudding was hot. I looked at it awhile waiting for it to cool. She said, "Ahh, go on! - Go on, go on.”
My lips tubed up and I blew on it and held it until I grew dizzy and watched the steam, rising in thinner riffles.
From out the dining room window I could see the new green coming up on the path towards my house, dirty snow still clinging to the opening rings of the bare trees, and further to the back porch where my Dad was up on the ladder flinging wet leaves from out the gutter. He'd be busy at that for awhile and wouldn't get to making my dinner for another hour or more.
I called to her in the kitchen, “Totsie?”
She turned, a fresh lit Pall Mall lilting from her mouth. “What dear? Whatever it is, don't ask me to take out my teeth again.”
“No, sorry, no. I only ask for that when my sister's here.”
“Ok, so we're straight up on that. Whatta ya need?”
“Can I go up and look at your perfumes?”
Totsie protested at first as she always did, but I could tell she enjoyed it, even with me.
“You asking for that again, Patrick, you little scoundrel…I'd just give you one of ‘em but not sure your Pop would be happy…and I don't want your sister getting jealous neither.”
We walked up the twisting old stairs to the small room off the landing before her bedroom. This was the converted opened closet where she kept all the family linen rolled up on shelves. And all her best clothes too, the ones she said she wore years ago, back when she was young, and Danny would take her into the city to see her brother at the Tavern for dinner and dancing. There were even some old country clothes tucked away from when she was a girl.
Totsie ducked slightly as we entered the space and we were it seemed at once surrounded by cedar and lilac and the faint smell of mothballs. She held my hand and we stepped past the hangers and suit bags to the vanity on the far wall.
Stacked up against the backing mirror were a tableau of small colored bottles of various shapes and detail. The two leaves of the vanity were pulled towards the center at an angle spreading the display in a widening arc in front of me. Behind the others stood a frosted white globe, its delicate smooth clear glass buds poking out all around the outside. I could see in the reflection from the joined mirrors that it was almost completely empty, just a spare wash of green liquid flattening inside the base.
“That's the one! That's the one I want.”
Totsie reached carefully over the array of cork stoppers and shiny gold nozzles and pulled it out holding it up in the last bit of sun slanting in from outside. She leaned towards me tipping the bottle slowly and gave it a little push until a few pale emerald beads hit my outstretched arm and dribbled down towards my palm. I felt the soft burning on my wrist and promised her I'd wash it off before I went home.
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"Tea with Mrs. Doyle" written for The Paddy Whacker Group St. Paddy's Day challenge, 2010....with appreciation to group admin. Finnegan Flawnt, and Susan Tepper, editor, for inclusion in Spring 2011 Wilderness House Literary Review
Tea with Mrs. Doyle, Wilderness House Literary Review
really love this, this relationship bet. Totsie and Patrick has life, love where this story ends.
It is such an unusual piece, subtle and wonderful. There is so much not TOLD, and yet it is all there, it feels very real - and the dialogue is terrific. I love the two characters. There is an archetypal kind of relationship here that is extremely interesting.
Very nice, Doug. It's like a painting that you look deeper into to discover the reality of the people living inside. Beautiful use of language and imagery to create this storyworld and spark it with life.
Julie and Susan...thanks for reading, appreciate your comments on story's ending and language/imagery.
Part of why this is so rich is the way all the senses are quietly engaged through details of smell, taste etc.Very well done.
This is very sweet, is it ok to say that to a guy's story? But it truly is lovely work and so delicately wrought with fine detail and nuance and humor. Doug you've done the Paddy Whacker proud
Very nice. The idea of the fork dipped in honey before desert is a wonderful concept as well as a great visual. There's something calming and domestic about this piece in general.
Thank you David! St. Patrick's Day...a sensual holiday if there ever was one, so was a fitting prompt to write to
Susan...Yes, I'll take a "very sweet" comment anytime, thank you...perhaps I can invert Irish Spring's legendary slogan: Sweet enough for a woman but written by a man
comments greatly appreciated...Shelagh. The fork/honey bit resulted out trying to work in prompt word, clover!
Great story, Doug. Amazing details and it flows so well, even on the sentence level. "My lips tubed up..." - that's such a clear image, perfect!
I really like your touch with the imagery in this piece, Doug. "We walked up the twisting old stairs to the small room off the landing before her bedroom. This was the converted opened closet where she kept all the family linen rolled up on shelves." Great work.
The title and ""Ahh, go on! - Go on, go on.” at first seemed like homage to Graham Linehan but your piece is a well done window on an relationship, I enjoyed this thanks for posting it Doug
These two characters are done exceptionally well. They are quite unique and I like the things they say and do. The images in this are fantastic. All of it comes together to form an engaging story.
Sam and Christian....thank you both for comments that imagery came off right!
Michael, sorry for the "bait 'n switch" :) I indeed started off imagining a comic situation between the great character brought to life by Pauline McLynn manically serving tea and falling while cleaning windows and then it just went somewhere else...but left in the Ferrero-Rocher and "Go on, Go on" to trick people into reading it...
Super wonderful character in Mrs. Doyle (the kid's not bad, either). I was pulled into this willingly after the first couple of sentences, totally unaware that it was written to a challenge. I felt at home in this piece. Excellent details. Just excellent.
Favorite line? "Totsie ducked slightly..."
There's always a room at the top of a winding stair. The sensory image transports the reader into the child's world, one without judgement, a place where its safe to be. Most of us once had a place like that.
I agree with Meg and would further suggest maybe more than one archetype working here - tasting forbidden treats in the kitchen (the tea and the honey), climbing the tower for hidden treasure (the perfume bottles way at the end of the cluttered closet), not to mention the unspoken wrath of a father concerned with his young son's interests, the world beyond the story's end.
A perfect read before bedtime.
had me eye on dis piece for a bit & glad i did, too: i have a sense that i also could do with some fiddle faddle. meg's right that there is a lot not told here, which makes this very, very suspenseful and the title the more effective. star!
Michael, Derek, Finnegan --
Leprechaun Pudding for all of you! Really appreciate your reads, and insightful comments...Thank you so much for the kind words...so, ok, make that a Guinness and scratch the pudding.
This is fantastic.
Thanks for reading, Savannah!
This is wonderful! So beautifully written.
Damn! Dats goood!
I love the warmth and humor in this. The exchange on Totsie's teeth is wonderful as are so many other details.
thank you Marcelle, Michael and Elizabeth...thanks for the good words.
I love the opening. That someone would need Fiddle Faddle and that Ferrero Rocher is never to be spoken again. It sets me up perfectly for the strange relationship to come.
thanks Jane...sugar buzz, or the absence of one can explain many things
Quirky relationship that works. Love the name Totsie, fits her to a tee.
Oh, I really like this! Great characters, wonderful descriptions... So "Oirish".I wanted to be there...
It's surprising where this story goes. I love the way it moves from one sensual place (food, taste) to another (smell, touch). Nice!
This really is a fantastic piece. I only wish we could see these two characters again.
This is rich and warm, with wonderful dialogue. A great read!
Kari was right-on to call this piece "rich and warm."
The story was beautiful and invites the reader to really indulge in it like, yes, a rich, warm dessert. It's absolutely tantalizing.
This is so beautiful! These two lives are treated with such dignity in the writing. And the detail in this story does make it feel so rich.
Kathy..thank you! Love to see this story still getting a few reads around here!