I should have created a first-date questionnaire heartaches ago. My critical queries in unequivocal black would seek, in advance, answers aforethought. I thought often about Max, Evan, Robert, and Henry, and what I could have and should have avoided.
With Max: lengthy instructional tutorials about what to do with my parts.
With Evan: an argumentative year about my degree of relationship committal. I thought his move-in indicated my serious intent. Evan did not.
“It took three months before you allowed my clothes into our bedroom closet.” When he said the word our, his pianist fingers punctuated, quote-marking the air. I said, “For the last nine months you have been fully ensconced in my closets and drawers.”
“That my you just uttered, that my is the trouble right there.”
He said, “You still think of the apartment as yours.”
He was right.
I did.
And it was.
With Robert: a pregnant discussion about why would I not desire a child half made from his sperm.
Only dating four weeks when I laid myself bare, I had been forthright. Divorced with three, his youngest just days from legal maturity, I knew Robert soon would be child-support free. That night he clinked his glass to mine and said, “Happy one month anniversary to us,” I said, anniversary or not, what I intended to say.
“If we become serious, a child, just one, has to be part of our picture.” I went on and said I would understand, we could remain friends, have a drink fully clothed, if further fathering was a no-go.
I said, “No guilt. No acrimony. We can kiss and part and continue our search for our soul-mates.”
Robert said “Kiss and part, no, never.”
He kissed my palms, it was prior to a mutual exchange of I love you, and he said “Having a child with you would be magical. And, selfishly, I want a do-over, be the parent I should have been before.”
The sex that night was tremendous.
Months later, when my womb wobbled and proved problematic and I said no to hormones, we researched adoption. Robert was game.
We went to a hotel, to a baby fair announced on the radio. The ballroom was crammed. Couples with tightly clasped hands and upside-down crescent-moon smiles wandered the aisles and toe-tested the booths shilling adoptions, domestic and foreign, IVF, implantation, and more. We attended a lecture, talked to adopters back for round two. “The baby is yours the minute you hold that bundle of joy.”
Romantic and randy, we left holding hands. We toasted our adoption decision with champagne. Afterwards, a tad tipsy, we took a final turn around the baby ballroom. That last cockily satisfied saunter did us in. The surrogacy booth beckoned to Robert: his sperm, fertilizing another's egg, carried by a third-party womb.
“Why won't you consider this,” he demanded later that night. “I wish it could be your egg, but, at least, we'll have my sperm.”
I said, “It costs something like a hundred thousand.” Money wasn't his issue.
I said, “If you didn't have three pre-existing children, of course I would consider it. But you already have fruit from your loins. For me, it's critical that we stand likewise related, either both, or neither, to an eventual child.”
And, because it was true, I added, “A kid that's half yours and half some other woman's, isn't what I had in mind.”
He could not let it go. He should have let it go. I said let it go. Or I should have said let it go. I cannot recall if I uttered those words, or not, but even if I said “Let it go,” letting go was not Robert's nature.
He pressed me mercilessly and for such a long time that I finally said what I never would have said had he let the subject alone.
I said, “Robert, I don't believe your sperm possesses those indefinable qualities that would make a child remarkable. I'd rather chance the unknown.”
With Henry: a late stage admission about his predilection for cross-dressing. Divulged over drinks at a trendy bistro, he tried to lessen the blow.
He said, “Since coupled with you, my urge has vanished, the pressure stemmed in some way.”
“But in fairness,” he said, “With the full disclosure our love requires, I cannot promise never to dip into your things.”
The admission and Henry's timing thereof came as a shock. His forthrightness followed celebratory sips of Bordeaux and an intricate discussion about engagement rings.
Before his disclosure, Henry had recounted in exacting detail his browsing at places out of his price range and learning online about cuts, clarity, carats, and cost. The 4-Cs of the sparklers had excited and confused him. He wanted my input.
“I want you to be deliriously happy with the rock that you wear.”
We sipped the Bordeaux, then with his hands wrapped around mine, he explained his love of wearing stilettos, how soft the swish of silky dresses felt against his sinewy skin, the rush he got clasping delicate bras around his broad back.
Afterwards, I imagined him slipping on engagement rings that caught his eye. Intended for me, I could imagine him admiring the way his hand looked with such a sparkler attached, thinking about the way the light caught the glint from the rock and catapulted rays into his eyes.
In the shower I think about my questionnaire. With Jonathan, at eight, I have another first date. I wonder about Jonathan's reaction if I placed the first-date questionnaire in front of him and asked for its thoughtful completion, prior to the ordering of cocktails and the initial exchange of false information.
Although intended for me, the questionnaire could and should do double-duty. My advance culling, cutting, and discarding of Jonathan, if he proved inappropriate, would save us both from the heartache of falling in love. From its birth, we could learn and should learn if our potential love's destiny was to die.
heartaches ago, oh my yes. Good work Cherise!
another good one in the series. Do assessment tests ever really work? You work in a good story to the premise, and I can't think of a crueler put down than "I don't believe your sperm possesses those indefinable qualities that would make a child remarkable".
The single paragraph works fine for me.
These are growing in scope and I started wondering where it all goes. Of course, I'd forgotten about the title, but my interest was piqued ... wanted more. Your threads are subtle. I am still not used to paragraphs the size of Volswagens, though. It's a lot like reading Tolstoi, where ... you want to take a break, but you're afraid you'll miss something. You're a fine writer, "...upside-down crescent-moon smiles..." is perfect.
comic, ribald, wrenching
hits all the notes
My favorite of the series. Very well done!
This is miles away from the typical fictionaut post. Its made of finer clay, and it takes all of 5 seconds to see it.
My favorite as well. I agree with Boudreau. Great piece - and series, Cherise.
Saved from the heartache of falling in love. No, you wouldn't want to fall in love with someone who failed your questionnaire. Great story, brilliantly written. The single paragraph works, Your story is so engrossing, I hardly even noticed. Another favorite.
Michael and J. Stephen: thank you!
Boudreau and Sam: I love that you both have a favorite. Thanks for continuing to read as this little series continues.
Walter and James: Thank you for your terrific comments, and being willing to read a paragraph the size of a Volkswagon!
I can't explain my reasoning, but the single paragraph is what I feel they each require.
Gary, as always, thank you!
J. Mykell,
Thank you for your lovely comments. The funny thing is that I have now actually written the underlying first-date questionnaire!
The underlying first-date questionnaire? When can we read it?
These are fantastic, not one paler than the others, this one perhaps most like the first with the humor of the third to meet it.
Are the characters -- the men's names related to one narrator -- consistent throughout the series? i.e., is the narrator divorced (as in #1) when she becomes involved with the men of #4?
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Ann, I love your 'fantastic'!
It is one narrator. I actually just tried putting them all together in one piece (version 1 - maintaining the single para structure; version 2, actually paragraphing all four).
I switched the series around: starting with #2 (teenager/voyeur sex), #3 (NY times wedding), #4 (first date questionnaire), then #1 (which revised a bit including what is posted here) (the day before wed).
If all that makes sense!
It does make sense.
Though it's not necessary to make too much sense -- to make the order conform -- if it hurts the original. My view.
Readers of my story "Hymen" noted the parts work separately and together. I like that idea for this series as well.
The theme of these seems to be: revision or regret, hindsight or rue. Forest for the trees. The humor seems generated by the narrator's selfhood and caution, her wisdom in increments, despite disappointment in the larger design.
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ann bogle, let it be known, is a national fucking treasure.
what ann said--
Ann,
Those are exactly the themes that have emerged, and, of course, it stems directly from the title.
I have been working on a number of projects where each part stands separate and together. I must read Hymen, it's next up on my reading list.
Thank you again for your comments, thoughts and insights. So greatly appreciated!
That scene at the Hilton -- the "baby fair" in the ballroom -- is so, so good.
another nice one, cherise.
Thanks so much Sara.
The writing's so excellent, so surprising, 'upside-down smiles', 'heartaches ago'. I see these 'what I shouldas' as a chapbook of sorts.
I have expertise in survey design - we should talk ;^)
Peace...
Linda, thank you so much!
This is my first read of this series, and where have I been? (Okay, I was in a cave, but that’s neither here nor there.) The first sentence pulled me in and kept me there and, like Gary said, it hits all the notes. Nice work. Very enjoyable. Very well done.
What a great series! Loved it from beginning to end.
Another solid hit. In truth I mostly skipped thru #3 because of my aversion to all things cats but you pulled me back in with this one. A sad sordid tale of love lost over and over again. A feeling we can, almost, all relate to. I love your narration style!
Jenny,
Thanks so much, so glad you liked the series, thus far!
Christian,
Glad you're out of the cave, and so glad you liked this. I look forward to your comments on #1, #2 and #3!
Jake,
Thank you for your kind words! Do try #3 again, there is only a wee bit of cat at the start and the end. I promise!
Another good one. Suggestion: Double space and put paragraphs. Its easier to read on a computer screen.
Thanks Matthew for reading. I appreciate your suggestions but, for me, all the pieces in the Things I Should Have Done series resist paragraphing and want to be told in a single paragraph. Don't know why, I have no great explanation to put forth, just the way it is.
Cherise! I finally got her, back at Fnaut after being away a week or more... And how great to be here now! This is wonderful, for all the reasons already listed. I'm late to this party, but I'm a firm supporter. The details like "his pianist hands quote-marking the air" tell us so much... And I cringe, smile, chuckle, and wonder all the way through. Wow, this is fabulous, really!! I'm going to re-read them all now, in order, in out-of-order, any way. Ann's right: they work together and separate. Star!
Michelle,
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments! And how great that makes me feel that you're going to re-read them all! Glad you're back.
Brilliant. Very touching...poignant...I loved it. This resonates with me, on a lot of levels, because the majority of my writing tends to be about women...about dating...love. I love how it's a single paragraph. I think it's absolutely fitting. Beautiful job.
Thank you so much Robert for the wonderful comments and for the fav!
quite simply wonderful. The Robert relationship is so crystal clear held in focus in so sparing an amount of words.
Great stuff (&favourited)
Marc,
I so appreciate your reading this and for the fav!
There are three that predate this one as well.
Very well-done and funny, Cherise, with an undercurrent of bitterness. The writing itself is fun, full of surprising rhyme and alliteration. Sheds further light on your earlier questionnaire. Fav
Thanks so much George for finding this and for the fav.
With these Things I Should Have done pieces of mine, the alliteration, the rhyme, the rhythm, it just seems part and parcel of the whole, and I am still trying to figure out if it's my writing the story in a single paragraph that engenders that!
My favorite of the series and a fav for me.
What is the attraction for you of the single paragraph?
Thank you for the read and the fav, Bill. It's been very interesting to see which of the series appeal to which readers the most!
For some reason, I just feel compelled to write this series in single paragraphs. For me, there is a musicality that happens, despite the subject matter, and when I work on the pieces in normal paragraph form, I feel a loss of connection. Who knows why!