Thursday
by Randal Houle
Every Thursday, around 11 am, right after the cemetery where I work receives the daily shipment of cremated remains to be interred, a frail nonagenarian steps out of the driver's seat of his Lincoln Continental and walks, unassisted, up a flight of twenty granite steps, disappears around a corner, sits at a chair - that I set up two hours earlier along with a small bouquet of flowers, and visits his wife who waits behind a one inch slab of granite. He visits for fifteen minutes, then leaves.
Thursday. The flower delivery is late. The time is 10:55. I speed up the hill. A Lincoln Continental has just pulled up. I know a back way. I set the chair and the flowers. A petal drops to the ground and I pick it up and put it in my pocket. I hear his footsteps — shoes scraping each step as he shuffles his feeble legs up twenty granite stairs. I'm forced to hide around the corner. He visits for fifteen minutes, then peaks around the corner.
“The flower delivery was late. Sorry. I was trying to stay out of the way.”
The man smiles, sighs, and resumes the journey back to his car.
Today, one week after the last Thursday, the time is 11 am. There is no Lincoln. I carry flowers and an urn containing cremated remains up twenty granite steps. The interment takes fifteen minutes, then I leave.
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Author's Note
Also appears in MASSIVE WASTE OF TALENT
Originally written for 52/250 week #19 "the last one" and appeared:
http://52250flash.wordpress.com/2010/09/20/thursday-by-randal-houle/
and
http://52250twentysix.wordpress.com/week-19-the-last-time/
Other stories by Randal Houle
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I like this voice, Randal - "Thursday. The flower delivery is late. The time is 10:55. I speed up the hill. A Lincoln Continental has just pulled up. I know a back way." Good piece. Enjoyed the read.
There's a suspenseful urgency to this writing, and it's done very well. Then, in the last paragraph, everything eases up for a nice rounded finish. Seems to me a whole slew of stories could be written around this man and his cemetery experiences.
Beautiful. Peace *
Lovely and well done. *
Nice writing, Randal. Solid narration and pacing throughout.
Sam, thanks so much.
Foster, I plan on it. I used to work in a cemetery, hence the inspiration.
Linda, Kim: thank you for reading.
Christian, thank you very much. That's the kind of thing I hope for.
Thank you all for the favs, that and your comments are the greatest currency.
Really rich writing, with lots of nice touches like the petal dropping to the ground.
Skillful and written with breathtaking economy. Very well done.
Excellent story, Randal.
Take out hyphen in paragraph one--unnecessary.
*
Thank you, Lou, Jack. I really appreciate the read.
Bill, you always find at least one thing...and I love it. Keep it up. You're making me dangerous. :)
Nice twist! I love the creepy ending of this, as if a curse has bestowed on the interment. Makes you wonder who is really in that crypt that is visited. Good job.
Thanks paula ray. I appreciate the kind read.
I love the writing here, I love the take on the theme. Such sadness, and such an interesting perspective on loss and love.
I really like the details you put in here too, like
"A petal drops to the ground and I pick it up and put it in my pocket."
and
"shoes scraping each step"
I can feel those Thursdays.
* for Thursday, Randal.
Thanks, Michelle, for the read and for the fav.
Wow. This is a stunning one. Gentle and powerful punch.
I'm surprised I didn't comment on this previously and fav it.
And with that fav, J. Mykell, this story joins the canon of 10+ favs. :)