a microcosm
by Randal Houle
He enters the well-ordered office. Papers pile high on the left side of the desk. The right side is empty, waiting to receive the load like a catcher behind home plate. He rifles through a drawer. Stops. "My favorite fishing lure!" He turns out the lights. Nature swallows him whole.
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51 words
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Author's Note
for the 55 words group
another micro originally cut down from a 64 word facebook post.
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Good use of imagery in a small space. Enjoyed.
Thank you, Sam. I always appreciate your read. You are as constant as the North Star.
Really good, Randal.
"The right is empty"
vs.
"The right side is empty"
[for clarity.]
Stronger without "leaves civilization"--clear from lure and last great phrase alone.
*
Thank you, Bill.
Man, I'm just going to email you my stories for a quick pass from now on. haha
I tried it with your changes, thanks, works much better.
Nice 55'er, Randal. Um, hook, line and sinker!
Ha. Thanks, Christian.
Great punch line. Love it!
Thanks Jack. I've kept up writing the posts in this way. Much more interesting
A story for Our Times, Randal. Pay no attention to the Techies behind the curtain, we're still part of nature.
No matter how many words, I like a story with a beginning, middle and end. And the closer is a real grabber!
Amen that, Ramon. Thanks for reading.
Nice exit line! Like it a lot. *
Thank you, Kim. Your read and your favorite mean a lot.