E-Harmony Connection #54421
by Meg Tuite
We met at the Corrale. The adrenaline was rising with Zefron's hair that puffed like a pastry every time he swept it up with his hand. I ordered Cuervo and a pina colada chaser. I was an in an island disaster kind of mood.
He asked hot questions.
He was volatile, vacuous, a smile crumbled around his lips.
"Who would you rail it for, Gumby or Pokey?"
I took a swig of Cuervo.
"Pokey. No question. Got a bad rap. Gumby's everywhere. Just because he's politically green?"
Zefron ordered another Kahlua. Things were plummeting in the right direction.
"If you were a whirling dervish, which way would you twirl?"
"I'd whip myself all the way back beyond infancy." I felt something move down there, where it counts.
"Ever had a Mickey Mouse watch?"
I sighed, nodded. Zefron lifted his arm: vintage.
He grunted crackerjack love my way, flicked his tongue. Time to quit the Corrale.
E-Harmony to the 10th degree.
Green, phallic creatures were plastered all over this fruitcake's lemon Smart car. Zefron threw me up against the vehicle, submerged me in the gorge of his pharnyx.
I pried myself away. "Why?"
Zefron's eyes swung both ways. "Opposites attract. Gumby-loving groupies collude, but to crave the likes of Pokey? Exquisite."
We were destined by chemistry and plastic figurines to give it a go. Zefron opened the door to his flaming Gumby mobile. I stuffed myself in, couldn't wait to see what radioactive wallpaper Zefron had glowing in his pad.
He asked hot questions.
He was volatile, vacuous, a smile crumbled around his lips.
"Who would you rail it for, Gumby or Pokey?"
I took a swig of Cuervo.
"Pokey. No question. Got a bad rap. Gumby's everywhere. Just because he's politically green?"
Zefron ordered another Kahlua. Things were plummeting in the right direction.
"If you were a whirling dervish, which way would you twirl?"
"I'd whip myself all the way back beyond infancy." I felt something move down there, where it counts.
"Ever had a Mickey Mouse watch?"
I sighed, nodded. Zefron lifted his arm: vintage.
He grunted crackerjack love my way, flicked his tongue. Time to quit the Corrale.
E-Harmony to the 10th degree.
Green, phallic creatures were plastered all over this fruitcake's lemon Smart car. Zefron threw me up against the vehicle, submerged me in the gorge of his pharnyx.
I pried myself away. "Why?"
Zefron's eyes swung both ways. "Opposites attract. Gumby-loving groupies collude, but to crave the likes of Pokey? Exquisite."
We were destined by chemistry and plastic figurines to give it a go. Zefron opened the door to his flaming Gumby mobile. I stuffed myself in, couldn't wait to see what radioactive wallpaper Zefron had glowing in his pad.
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Author's Note
This was posted at 52/250 and before that was a prompt I did with a group of online writers.
Other stories by Meg Tuite
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This piece was glowing as I read it. What ideal opening lines. I especially liked:
The adrenaline was rising with Zefron's hair that puffed like a pastry every time he swept it up with his hand.
Wildly creative, Meg. I just love how you made it all so much fun.
I once had a dream where a woman told me "The world ends tomorrow." Then she baked brownies.
I don't know why, but this piece made me remember that.
fave
I adore this, it is beyond imaginative and inventive...quirky and bizarr-o! And I can't believe we both had the Gumbi idea the same week (thank goodness you alerted me to it, and yours works so much better in your story!) Four stars all the way fave!
Love it, Meg. Consider adding to the @geek group?
Thank you so much, Isabell, for reading and commenting! I love that it glowed for you!!!!
Dear Susan,
It was a fun write, I have to say! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!!
James,
Totally cracked me up! I love your dream!! And love that this reminded you of that dream!!! Ha! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!!!
Dear Robert,
We were on Gumby psychic wave, which is somewhat frightening and definitely bizarre-o!!! But I love that!!! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!!
Lynn,
I definitely need to be in the geek group!!!! Is there one??? Let me know and I will join and add this!!! It would most certainly fit! Thanks so much for reading and commenting!!!
Lynn,
Just added to the geek group!!! Need to read your stories!!! Thanks for including me as an official geek. I was an unofficial geek up until this pt.
I like it. Wonderful form here. Yes.
"I was an in an island disaster kind of mood."
You clearly had lots of fun with this and it shows in the voice.
(Though I just noticed that first 'an' probably needs to go.)
Dear Sam,
Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!! So glad you liked it!
Dear Neil,
I did have a good time with this one! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!!
What fun! And done with so much creativity, as well as very good writing. Makes for a great read.
Be-yond! Just Be-yond. Even for you, Ms. Meg, this pushes the envelope into the realm of hilarious brilliance!!!
*
Meg, How I wish I knew you better. Being your friend must be like getting an "Edible Arrangement" every day! This piece, yes, a thousand times yes, but then you knew that already. What a joy to read! fave fave fave fave fave fave fave fave - do you think this will work?
PS Perhaps the Edible Fruit comment needs a dash of clarification. You know the arrangements made of fruit and chocolate - beyond yummy - that some people send as gifts and are like so much fun to get and like that?
I love the irony of "plummeting in the right direction." *
Thank you so much, Foster!!! I really appreciate your reading and commenting!!
Thank you so much, Susan, for your most generous comments and for taking the time to read!!! You rock!!!
MaryAnne,
Thank you so much and back at you! Would love to get to know you as well, and what a beautiful compliment you gave me!!! So much appreciated and I look forward to reading more of your work!!!
Thank you so much, Christopher!!! I'm so glad you liked it and I so appreciate your reading and commenting!!!!
This was fun, really fun. Put a smile on my face and I don't smile often enough. Fave.
Thank you so much, Tiffany!!! I'm so glad you liked it!!! I really appreciate you reading and commenting!!
love the energy the play at play here and the names - like being swung around by a stranger in a bar, half-drunk and even more drunk by the time she's finished with you.
Dear Marcus,
Thank you so much for reading this whacked-out whinger!!! I'm glad you're feeling drunker after reading! I will toast to you tonight!!! So appreciate your reading and always love your comments!!!
Cute. What a fun, good read, Meg.
Thank you so much, Jules, for reading and commenting!!! So glad you liked it!!
Meg, this is awesome! * By the way, I really liked your piece in Perceptions also. Nice looking journal, eh?
James, I'm so glad you're letting me know that Perceptions came out! I didn't know??? Are you in there also?? I'm guessing, yes! How happy to be there with you!!! Nice! I'll check it out!! Thanks for reading this! I loved your bday piece! Had me cracking up all day!
God, this moves beautifully. Your writing is so unique, smart, ass-kicking. Love it! *
Dear Kathy,
Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!! I so appreciate it!!!