Late November
by Matt Potter
“I didn't realise she was that far gone.” Natalie put the dish, wrapped in alfoil, on the tray table and pulled a chair closer to the bed.
“She's in and out of consciousness,” said Zumi, smoothing the sheet under Caro's spidery hands. “Maybe today, maybe tonight. Probably not tomorrow.”
They'd all met twenty years ago when their children attended the same kindergarten. Caro had just moved from the States and was finding adjusting hard.
“Where's Grant?” Natalie asked.
“Gone for a walk but he's not far.”
Natalie nodded. The two friends watched the sheet rise and fall with each laboured breath.
Zumi smiled. “What did you bring?”
“A pumpkin pie!” Natalie said. “You know how she loves it at Thanksgiving.” She poked her tongue out. Like Vegemite and cricket, only those brought up on it like pumpkin pie.
Zumi laughed. “Every November, forcing down a piece to be nice.”
“I found a recipe on the net and now my hair smells of pumpkin.”
Caro's body twitched and they jumped.
As Zumi soothed Caro's hands, Natalie went to the nurse's station, returning with a table knife and two plates. The alfoil crackled as she removed it from the pie, and making three swift cuts, soon had two slices. Stretching across the bed, she handed Zumi a piece.
Zumi bit into it as Natalie bit into hers. The unsure taste, the disturbing texture: no, you have to be brought up on it to like it.
“Nice,” Zumi grinned. “For pumpkin pie.”
|
9
favs |
1580 views
17 comments |
282 words
All rights reserved. |
Author's Note
This story appeared on Magnolia's Press in early May 2011.
http://magnoliaspress.wordpress.com/2011/05/09/late-november-matt-potter/
A tough but tender masterpiece. Thank you for showing me how it is done. *
I was actually brought up on pumpkin pie but have also acquired a taste for Marmite (the British form of Vegemite). I will never ever ever understand cricket.
Loved this story, Matt. *FAVE*
great scene. I do love when dialog is the driving force.
delicate and nuanced - a very stout piece
Sweetly turned like it should be, careful and certain, but real.
fave
Love this, remember it from 52/250!
*
Good piece. Enjoyed the read.
Sad and believable story.
No one, not even you, Matt, could have written this better.
Thank you all for your reading and commenting. I have to say this has become a favourite of mine ...
Always love your work, Matt!!! I remember this from 52/250 and loved it!!! Big fave *****
Thanks Meg. Actually this was written for 52 / 250 but then withdrawn. But the format is certainly there - perhaps all my stories are starting to sound the same!
“Gone for a walk but he's not far.”
I really like this line, Matt - says lots. Nice writing. *
Foster, thank you - I did not see or mean that myself - as I set it in the Royal Adelaide Hospital, which is next to the Botanic Gardens in Adelaide, I imagined the husband walking around the gardens. But you have pointed out another meaning, so thanks, and I see it, too.
Matt, this thing starts at the edge of the abyss and never leaves, despite misleadingly simple language. Such a silly life, this design, in so many ways--who would INVENT a month like November, a month like a door marked "Exit." Yet it's nice, too, this curious life, with its unsure taste and disturbing texture, this ambivalent pie. Very rich and satisfying. Not a wasted word. *
You've brought this dialogue scene to life very well! I know it's not meant to be funny, but I did find "the disturbing texture" of pumpkin pie quite funny at the end, which added to the feeling of layers in the work. *
Oh, there is is usually something funny going on in my stories, Kathy, even if unintended!