Rattlesnake Pancakes
by Bill Yarrow
I don't usually take bets,
but I took this one. Gobbo
bet me a melamite ring I
wouldn't eat a rattlesnake
pancake. Normally, I am
cautious but I needed a
gift for Emily Beth and her
father, being a miner, she
had a thing for melamite.
The thing on my plate was,
pardon me, the color of vile
cheese, and it tasted like it
looked, but I got one swallow
down and then twenty followed
in slow succession. I felt queasy
but Gobbo never guessed. When
five hours later I was still alive,
he handed over the ring. I ran
to Emily Beth's mom's place on
Arapahoe. I found her sitting
on a two-person glider on the
wrap-around porch. “Emily Beth,
I got a ring for you.” Oh, Blister,
how ever did you afford a ring
of melamite? That just heats
my heart. “Maybe so, Emily Beth,
but are you tepid enough to wed?”
A gift is not a liberty, Blister.
I'll not marry you until Father
Life has sucked the selfish
out your soul. “Selfish? Selfish!
I ate snake poison for you!”
Yeah, but you didn't die, did
you, so what's the good of that?
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Author's Note
A version of this poem was published in Connotation Press.
Thank you, Joani Reese!
It appears in Incompetent Translations and Inept Haiku (Cervena Barva Press 2013).
"Rattlesnake Pancakes" appears in THE VIG OF LOVE (Glass Lyre Press, 2016).
Other stories by Bill Yarrow
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Interesting, Bill. This is like Mark Twain somehow. fave!
Loved it when you sent it to me at Connotation Press, and I still do! It's funny and filled with sharp wit. This 'uns a keeper!*
Some pieces just grab you with the first line and don't let go until the last. This is one of those.*
"Yeah, but you didn't die, did
you, so what's the good of that?"
Wimmerns... sheesh.
". . . I got one swallow
down and then twenty followed
in slow succession."
Snakes and Father Life.
Weird and good.*
Great voice. Yes. I like.
Opens with a sharp hook that pulled me along to the satisfying finish. Well done, Bill.
Heats my heart.*
What's melamite?
Ditto Matt Dennison. LOL.
*
I to wonder what is a melamite?
poison?
loved the last line.
A tricky, little tale handled with care. *
This is a hoot -- fun to read, especially knowing as I do your other poems and how sidesaddle this one is by comparison, but naturally, in a comic way. Mark Twain comment (above) fits the wit of it. *
Bill I love your Horton Foote voice here, it is just priceless.
*
Bill, I loved this at CP and here, on the second read, as well. The voice, and the opening and closing are especially notable.
Fave.
This reads even better the second time around. The ending - wish I had written that. Peace *
Marvelous! Love the voices. Love the cruelty of Father Life!
Hi, Chris! Thanks for reading and commenting on "Rattlesnake Pancakes." Glad you liked the poem. (Couldn't write on your wall or message you.)
Very fun read with lots of whim and wang. Cool!
Thanks for your comment on "Rattlesnake Pancakes," Darryl. Fun poem to write! (Couldn't write on your wall or message you.)
I know this girl. She sent me a 'Dear John.' My name, however, is James, so I didn't take it to heart... (that's a lie, but don't tell her.)
star.
Thanks, James! Appreciate the comment and fave!
Is this where the expression comes from "she has the disposition of a rattlesnake?" Great narrator! *
Thanks for commenting on and faving "Rattlesnake Pancakes," Beate. Curious one for me!
"disposition of a rattlesnake"
Check out the song "Venom Wearing Denim."
Love it. Selfish unless you die. There's a big lesson in this, about our culture of heroes. Fave*. (VERY POISONOUS; GOOD JOB!)