by Bill Yarrow
in my youth I was enamored of the moon
—that is to say, lunacy
I applauded the bizarre in nature
I appropriated the gratuitous from dreams
I drank brashness and frenzy from books
what mad things I did!
(throwing a bucket of water on the naked couple in the bed)
what mad things I said!
(telling you your heart was filled with flies)
what mad things I wrote!
(unlisted bliss is insistence intersticed)
then Thomas went mad and threw himself under a bus
then Liat kissed the boys and hanged herself
then Miko couldn't stop laughing and died
so I became careful
I monitored my sadness
I governed my excitement
I trimmed all my excess
I ramped up my sensible brain
and now I am old and reminiscent
and like Funes I remember it all
Thanksgiving in New Orleans
Easter in Delphi
New Year's Eve in Prague
Halloween in Somerville
President's Day in Bangalore
Labor Day in Perth
but in my visionary senescence
I am haunted by a new kind of madness
a dementia of time
memory [[[unmoored·from·chronology]]]
ME·MO·RY [[[stripped·of·its·ardor]]]
M E M O R Y [[[reduced·to·obtuseness]]]
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An audio version of this poem appeared in Awkword PaperCut.
Thanks, Michael Dickes.
This poem appears in Blasphemer (Lit Fest Press 2015).
Side note, the Middle English term for crazy was "mooned."
If only I could remember who said it's a mad mad mad mad world. *
Jonathan Winters?
Lovely, Bill
This moves me. *
Never obtuse. Not you. Brilliant, more like.*
Wonderful barrage.
"I applauded the bizarre in nature
I appropriated the gratuitous from dreams
I drank brashness and frenzy from books"
Wow, Bill. Haunted by a new madness. Great piece. *
Wonderful.
I just noted to someone yesterday that when you are young you succeed at anything because you don't know you can't. When you get older you do nothing because you see how many ways you can fail.
Loved this. Thank you.
Lxx
I usually expect either clever form play or emotional resonance, but never saw someone pull off both equally.*
Should have done Halloween in New Orleans. Madness indeed. *
Enjoyed.
Thanks all who commented and liked!
what mad things I wrote!
(unlisted bliss is insistence intersticed)*
Also, the couple in bed deserved it! How dared they?!
I believe I would have done the same. And so would Hardaway and Rasnake and Paust.
Odd. I fell in love with lunacy in my old age. *
A harrowing poem. I felt every turn.*
Thanks you, Gita, Jake, and Emily, for your comments and likes.
*, Bill. So good. The opening pulled me in and I'm so glad it did.
"in my youth I was enamored of the moon
—that is to say, lunacy
Thanks, David! Appreciate it very much.
I am a real lover of memory. So I love it that memory is a figure (almost) in this poem, and I think I love the moon, too, for itself and its mythic appearances in poems. *
Thanks, Ann!
Wow! What moves me the most is "so I became careful." You make me ache for that. *
Oh my god, this is fucking beautiful.
Thanks you, Beate! Thank you, Jane! Love both of your comments.