If that were his car behind mine, if that yellow Renault with the loud muffler were his, and if we left the intersection on green and he flashed his brights at me and signaled me to pull over, I would. And if when I got out of my car and stood in the open door he got out of his own car and walked, not fast but not timidly, up to me and kissed me without asking, without waiting, if he kissed me with soft lips and strong arms and no apology on his tongue—if he did this—I could forgive his doing it. If when he pulled his lips from mine he didn't say a word, and if he didn't try to explain or try to win me with bullshit, if he didn't smile and if he didn't tell me he was in love with me, and if he didn't ask to come over or for me to come over, if he didn't ask but just followed me home, I could let him follow. And if he didn't drive too close, if his headlights didn't shine blindingly in my rearview mirror and if at every turn I would have to look to see if he were still there, I could slow down for him. And if he didn't grab me in my doorway, if he didn't pretend we were in a movie where our clothes come off the minute we get in the door, if he didn't think this were a scene that would cut to socks and underwear on the floor, and if he touched my hair without a word, if he just stood there without even touching me at all, I could close the door behind him. I would close the door behind him tonight.
16
favs |
1851 views
32 comments |
312 words
All rights reserved. |
A Six Sentences piece.
I won't try to explain or try to win me with bullshit. I'll just fav it.
. . .win you with bullshit . . .
The subjunctive mood works so well here. Wonderful form and writing, Kristen. I really like this piece.
Good one.
A rhythmic piece with a thumping good ending. Fav.
is lovely--
Oh, I like this. I like this a lot.
Thank you all for stopping by, and for leaving your comments. I'm happy you enjoyed it.
Beautiful, soft, sad
Great piece. Fav.
The "if" construction used throughout is done so well here, almost effortlessly. The voice, the images you provide are beautiful. Well done!
amazing tiny and just right. Great, great, great.
so different, so lovely
Nice. I'm a big fan of Six Sentences.
Some great un-spooling.
Terrific piece.
Nice pacing, beautifully crafted and perfect length. How many of us have thought this but could never write it down so wonderfully. Well done.
Oh this is good!
Thank you all so much!
This is my first read of your work. This is atsounding. ABSOLUTE fav.
Beautiful, Kristen.
Fantastic.
Wonderful writing. Seems like it could be a monologue in the beginning of a movie.
This feels so human and authentic, love it.
Thank you all so much for stopping and commenting.
Yes. excellent.i enjoyed the repeating of "if"
Just amazing. Wow.
Such a lovely fantasy, Kristen! *
delicious
excellent!
Thank you!
Sad and yearning with a driving rhythm, so much with so few sentences. Amazes me.