by Jake Barnes
The Philistine army had gathered for war against Israel. The two armies faced each other, camped for battle on opposite sides of a steep valley. A Philistine giant measuring over nine feet tall and wearing full armor came out each day for forty days, mocking and challenging the Israelites to fight. His name was Goliath.
Saul, the King of Israel, and the whole army were terrified of Goliath. One day David, the youngest son of Jesse, was sent to the battle lines by his father to bring back news of his brothers. David was a teenager at the time. While there, David heard Goliath shouting his daily defiance and he saw the great fear stirred within the men of Israel. David responded, "Who is this unwashed bumpkin that he should defy the armies of God?"
So David volunteered to fight Goliath. Dressed in his simple tunic, carrying his shepherd's staff, slingshot and a pouch full of stones, David approached Goliath. The giant hurled threats and insults. He brandished a knife that was a foot long.
David said to the Philistine, “Whoa, whoa. What are the rules?”
Puzzled, the Giant stopped and lowered the knife. “Rules? What rules?” he asked.
With that David stepped in and kicked the giant in the balls. The giant rolled in agony on the ground. David then took Goliath's sword and cut off his head.
When the Philistines saw that their hero was dead, they turned and ran. So the Israelites pursued, chasing and killing them and plundering their camp.
Moral: Old age and treachery may best youth and skill, but youth and treachery is also a powerful combination.
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True story.
Will there be a series of improved tellings of Bible tales?
This is very well-written, Jake, and just what I needed on a Sunday morning. *
I have it from a family member that Goliath had Marfan Syndrome and his heart chose that moment in the hot sun to quit. Goliath dropped like a box of rocks.
Fun piece, Barnes!
"With that David stepped in and kicked the giant in the balls. The giant rolled in agony on the ground." Thank you for the laugh out loud! Hahaha.*
Yup. Good to keep in mind.
Let's just rewrite all of them.*
Nice.
Funny, I don't remember the part about the balls...are there balls in the bible?
I laughed out loud when I saw the author's note.
thank you.
Awesome! Reminds me of my ex-husband in karate class sparring session, throwing boxer moves I wasn`t prepared for. I caught on quickly and my head didn't come off, luckily. *