by Jack Swenson
I lean over and whisper into the ear of a young blond with freckles on her nose. “Wanna go swimming?” I ask. The tavern is on the outskirts of the city, and there is a creek in back. “Sure!” the girl says. We duck out the back door and walk hand in hand along a short trail down to the shore. On the bank of the stream, we take off our clothes and dash into the water. I'm not wearing a thing; the girl is wearing her panties. We wade ashore and sit in the sun on the bank, breathing hard. I look her over. She has perky tits. I can see her bush through the thin fabric of her wet panties. The girl says her name is Jody. I tell her my name is Jake. Jody picks up a stick and scratches a heart in the sand. She adds the initials J.B., then looks at me. "What's your last name?" she asks.
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Sweet nothings, indeed. A micro from my new book, Echoes & Disconnects. Coming soon.
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Jack, lovely, this pixie.
The part where they are taking off their clothes and then he says he's not wearing a stitch of clothes feels redundant and the tiniest bit awkward there...to me? Maybe use words like "undress" and "naked" to get past repeating clothes/clothing
other than that, to my ear, everything is groovy
Wonderful, Jack!
Super fine. *
Nice work, Jack.
Nice micro! *
Nice micro! *
Ah, young love. Nice, Jack.
Perky
Clear cut. Full of anticipation and abandon. Great, Jack!
Lovely, love this, you just don't miss--
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