I wanted to kill my brother Allan when we were seven and out in the woods carving a fishing pole out of a birch branch that he had me hold below a stub he was hacking off, slicing my finger to the bone.
I wanted to kill Allan when we were riding in the black limo to my Dad's burial and he said "boy, people must think we are millionaires" although I was the one seventeen months younger.
I wanted to kill Allan when on my wedding day the best man that he was took a check from deep in the book so when I got to a strange city with my new bride all of my savings were gone.
I wanted to kill Allan all the times when he was on the verge of success because of his incredible talents and drive, then would always do something to fuck it up, winding up worse than before.
I wanted to kill Allan even though he, at age ten, was entrusted to raise his young brother while our mother worked days and often nights to keep us afloat as long as she did and it was impossible when there was no one to raise him.
I still want to kill Allan, because he now is unseen, unheard from and probably dead and I would do anything to tell him I want for us to be, again, kids in the woods cutting fingers.
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My bio-flash for the Editor's Closet at twentysix, 52|250 A Year of Flash's 2nd Quarter Review:
http://52250twentysix.wordpress.com/your-editors/
Go on over & enjoy all the editor's as we reveal a glimpse of our lives, and then our selections from weeks 14-26, and loads of other features.
Very difficult to write, and also easy. I resolved a few pesonal demons with this one, thanks to something I read which forced me to examine the issue.
Power art can be in one's life.
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amazing piece, walter. kind of noir (not that i know anything about that) but tender, too. wonderful form.
Walter, I know the feeling. Well drawn, this is.
well done... i'm not as forgiving as you, however. i embrace the "fool me once" principle, though i've been a fool many times over for my only son. until he went to prison for something way beyond my limit of tolerance.
Nicely written. I think it's my favorite story today. I just wish the final line, which is so very important, was a bit smoother. That "again" seems misplaced: "I want us to be kids in the woods again, cutting fingers." Enjoyed this.
Thanks, Marcus & James - always appreciated from both of you.
Rich - forgiveness for me seems to come when I need to give it. A reading of my co-editor's poem made me realize I needed this.
JP - the flip of kids/again was intentional as I wanted the repeat to be echoed before the rest, but it does perhaps pause the finish too much. Appreciate the insight & your appreciation of it.
Lots of powerful feeling here.
Paragraphs #3 and #5 don't read quite as gracefully as my favorites #2 and #6.
I agree. Powerful. You don't forget it.
Ohhh, I was laughing at the start, but the time wasted on anger culminated in a very poignant last line... fave. Sad. Lovely. True.
This one blew me apart. Because I wanted to kill Allan, too, and then you redeem him. I just don't have that much forgiveness in my heart and it's a pity. Really strong work, Walt
*
Walter - I love this. Pretty powerful.
good thing Allan was older, you may have killed him. Nice to forgive, hope he is alive to know.
Glad I found this. It seems less like forgiveness than resolution. *
Totally with you in this one, Walter. Touched my heart.
The best, when this thing carried so long and hard drops away. Against all reason: forgiveness and love. This is beautiful, and so full. *
I like this tremendously. Honesty. Imagery. Anger. Yearning. Quite a lot to put in the few moving words.
Yuh. Jeez, can you ever write. The rhythmic incantation of the prose just hurls us down the hill to the inevitable pit, but makes it just a tad less bruising somehow. How lost we are sometimes when we get what we think we want. And SUCH big heart. Walter rules. *