She sat high and mighty
as if she had been carved out of marble
or at the very least bronzed.
Her long legs wrapped
around the bar stool
like cinnamon taffy.
She took a slow
meaningful
drag off of her cigarette
leaning into it
withholding the exhale
for an agonizingly long
male moment of time.
This was her signal.
She was ready to be worshipped, adored, approached.
“Those'll kill ya”
He warned from across the bar
“Who says?” she purred in reply
“They all do” he countered smiling , chewing on an ice cube
“All of them, huh?”
She leaned forward, raising a wicked left eyebrow and whispered,
“And just who are they, anyway?”
He sat for a moment
studying this curious Tennessee Williams character come to life.
She was clearly not of this earth, yet at the same time,
she was most definitely in her element.
He reached over, into her territory and
picked up her pack of cigarettes.
He held them up to the light, in an archaeological fashion, and placed a careful finger under the bold lettering on the side of the pack.
“They would be the Surgeon General”
“I never did have much respect for authority.”, she throatily confessed.
He raised his eyebrows and knocked back another ice cube.
“Huh, a rule breaker and a heartbreaker”, he cracked wisely
“Now what would you know about that?“ she cooed, putting her hand on her thigh,
“Darling, I knew your whole story before I even walked into this bar.”
She blew a smoke ring that touched the tip of his nose before vaporizing into thick air.
“ Boy, now that'll kill you”
Rene ~ 2010
I read this both as poetry and as prose.
I liked "male moment of time." not sure what it means, but I liked it.
Your descriptive writing, your characters, and the dialogue held my attention
Male moment of time:
The length of time she withheld her exhale, her release. It was superfreakingtantric or else she thought about baseball. :)
Rene
Superfreakingtantric is a better alternative than baseball.
Agreed JMC, but sometimes you've got to mix it up.
Rene, I love reading your work. It’s so fun and good.
Great puppet show this. Playing with characters? How about "reading minds" or "channeling patrons of the meanest lounge south of St. Louis." I love this.
Like this one a lot. Write it as prose, IMO.
*
"...heartbreaker,"