Every day Man shuffles through Land of Stones hunched over his stick. Bright-Eyes chitters loud and scrambles down Oak. My tail twitches, alert. Hungry. Sun scared away Rainclouds and the acorns are small and hard. Bright-Eyes hides them in our secret nooks anyway, for the kits who will come after Snow.
Bright-Eyes looks thin perched on top of Stone. Man hobbles slowly. He looks thin, too. When he arrives, Bright-Eyes scampers behind the tree, waiting. Man stops, leans on his stick, and sighs. He stares at Stone. He waters Earth with his eyes.
“Carol,” he says. “I miss you.”
His hand plunges into his skin, grey like Sky. Seeds shower the yellowed grass. Bright-Eyes dashes out, filling his cheeks with corn and nuts. Blue Jay swoops down from the branch for his share. Man watches with sad eyes, then leaves.
Every morning Man sprinkles his Water and Seed before Stone. Bright-Eyes lines our nest with fallen leaves. Sky turns black and blows cold. Bright-Eyes brings me acorns but does not eat. My belly swells.
White arrives. Man does not visit. We wait and wait. Still Man does not come. White piles higher than Stone. Bright-Eyes returns with the last acorn. He gives it to me.
One morning, White goes away. Yellow Bird rumbles beside Oak and digs through White and Earth with his beak. Men circle around the hole, but not our Man. They fill the hole and right another Stone.
White returns. Bright-Eyes does not wake. I wait.
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This week's 52/250 theme 'tombstone' stumped me until I saw a squirrel run across the road. A bit of a departure for me -- I've never written from an animal's POV, though I have written from a tree's.
Happy All Hallows!
Peace...
Nice work, Linda. I like your approach to the animal POV—you pull it off nicely. I like the primitive, almost fable like feel to this one.
Oh this is so lovely and sad! Nicely written. It does have the feeling of a fable.
Very nice and soft and natural. A world through the eyes of who live in the now.
Linda, this is lovely, especially the last line. And I'm a huge fan of fables. Big *
Bitterly sweet.
Christian, Kathy, Larry, Kim, and James - Oh wow!
Thanks all for reading! Glad I pulled off sounding like a squirrel. And like a fable -- I like that.
And all the pretty stars - thank you! Peace...
Wonderful.
Wow, Linda. Just wow.
Thank you Beate!
Thank you Sam!
Peace...
Linda, magical, deep, I was transported!
fav
i can't tell you how much I adore this. It is so simple and dense, it makes us focus, there is vulnerability inside everything that happens, but how did you do this? Your narrator is a squirrel - the intelligent editing, your pacing, and mainly your intuition here display mastery. Fave.
Myra, thank you for your kind words and fav! Glad you were transported -- it's a gentle cemetery. Peace...
Great piece. Like this: "Seeds shower the yellowed grass. Bright-Eyes dashes out, filling his cheeks with corn and nuts."
Meg, ZI'm so glad you like this story. Your words make me very happy, so thank you! peace...
Matt, thank you so much. Isn't that how squirrels are, filling their cheeks like shopping bags? Peace...
wonderful cadence and pacing, keeping the narrator observations simple to the point they become lyric, if not as others have said fable-like. You create empathy for man and beast...fellow travelers to the grave, indeed, and all that remains is stone.
Doug, thanks so much for your kind words. I appreciate your comment that humans and animals are 'fellow travelers to the grace' -- a humble reminder of our origins. Peace...
Wow, such a great and different piece.
Great story, well conceived and developed. Lyric and fable-like in its simplicity and breadth. I particularly like your point of view. Our neighborhood has many trees and the squirrels are fun to watch as they congregate around the bird feeders in the morning.
Thanks J Mykell for the comment and the fav -- much appreciated! The squirrel's perspective was a fun one to write. Peace...
Jules, thanks for the read! Peace...
Very nice, Linda. Basic perception played against harsh realities. Lovely.
Thanks Dean for stopping by for a read! Much appreciated. Peace...
This is very powerful, Linda. The innocent perspective; the harsh reality... The link below is to a short Disney cartoon that takes a similar premise. You might enjoy it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8stkqssLYc