The Last Birthday Party
The boat crashed into the concrete bank and the little boy shrieked, delighted: “Do it again!” His father tried to put it in reverse with the remote, but the engine only whined. He directed the boy to turn the boat around.
“You broke it already?” she said.
He said nothing.
“Come back to the party. We're going to do cake soon.”
“It's his birthday. Let him play.”
“Mommy, look!” the boy shouted, nudging the boat away from the edge.
“Careful, sweetie,” she called, her tone shifting to warmth. She hissed five minutes and disappeared over the embankment.
He joined his son at the water's edge and toggled the remote. The propeller spun a moment, urging the boat forward, then stopped. “That last crash might have been one too many,” he said.
The boy took the remote and carefully pushed one lever forward. The engine caught and reached full speed, leaving a tiny wake. The boy grinned up at his father: two rows of white baby teeth.
“Turn it around now,” the father suggested. The boat continued forward and then the engine died, stranded fifty yards away in the middle of the pond. The man sighed; he took off his shoes and rolled up his pants legs.
“Can I come?” the boy asked. The father looked past his son up the embankment and nodded. The boy held onto his father's hand as they waded together out into the shallow, frigid water. The boy giggled, splashing his father and howling at the cold.
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Author's Note
This was written for the 52|250 Challenge week 34 - floating away.
Ominous from the get go somehow. An innocent little scene between father & son, with Serling doing the voice over, done by the word choices - crashed into concrete, not butted against wood pilings, disappeared over the embankment, howling at the cold. Well done - leaving the ending untold stops it right where it should end.
terrific. gentle and powerful at once.
Enjoy reading here, just as at 52. Two times good! *
Good stuff. I like how the two 'boys' upset the mother's careful birtday script, how they wander together into their adventure. Peace *
Hmmm... just reread the title and now I'm all a-shivery...
The title does the heavy lifting here, but you set up the tone perfectly by giving specific details. Particularly effective was "two rows of white baby teeth" and that glance of the father, past the child. Really well done. *
Chilling and well written. *
Fire and ice. People to like and people to hate. What else do we want? What else indeed. Fav.
The perfect balance of fantastic details and the set-up are what give this so much depth. And the sad, chilling twists and turns of life. Well done, John.
Thanks for the kind words, folks: always, always appreciated!
ha, this is great, didn't see it at first until Kathy mentioned the title. very good and written just perfectly!
Wow. Just wow!
Well done. Many resonant lines.
“You broke it already?” she said.
vs.
“You broke it already?” she asked.
Divine *!
Real people, great set-up, just a hint of what is to be. Fav!
This is fabulous.